I will survive with or without her, I know that… If she had died no mater what I tried I would never get her back, or if she had ran away without leaving trace behind her I couldn’t have any control except of myself. And again, all I can control right now is my own personal world. I have a life to live and I will live it fully; my daughter deserves a whole father, not one cut in pieces. And if or when she comes back, she should find a whole person, not a hurt, unhappy & resentful half-human being.<P>It’s not an easy task, specially since other issues in my life are not working… the financial situation sucks because this was a terrible year for our business- we’ve had other bad years but we always resolved things together. Today I'm waking up to turn things around.<P>I am about to sit down to write my personal plan for rebuilding. It will contain the five areas that I consider important for MY happiness (there are six here- the first one is the foundation for the Five).<P>1. SPIRITUAL GROWTH. Sometimes I forget about God except when I need him, but HE has sent me a message (although a painful one) reminding me that he is there for me, and that HE is the source of all LOVE.<P>2. FAMILY. Although this is marital problem I have to minimize the impact on the family, meaning my daughter should suffer the least as possible. Home was always a comfortable place because we made it possible. Today it is my responsibility to make again a HOME out of our present house; will do this with time, effort, and above all, love.<P>3. MATERIAL. Our business needs to be reshaped, I have an idea of what is needed but haven’t implemented it. Now is the right time to have a new {********} for Y2K. Reshaped, the business will provide again for our material needs and those of the people who work with us.<P>4. SOCIAL. My social life has always been with my W, she has HER friends and I have OUR friends; I attend too many events that I don't enjoy, the type that I won't attend anymore; at the same time we both do community work (she does hers, I do mine, we do ours). But I need to also have new & personal friends… these days have helped me to “discover” a wealth of interesting people, people that I see every day but with whom until now had no interest in dealing more than on a businesslike, impersonal level.<P>5. PHYSICAL. I am 5' 11" and weight 165 lb.- not a bad combination, except that I am too thin- I've been always below my "normal" weight (i.e. my skinny butt hurts when I set too long on a bench, my weight is OK but the difference is around my waist, these flabby muscles have forgotten that they're muscle, etc. etc. etc.). I will concentrate on health rather than chain smoking and criticizing myself in front of the mirror.<P>6. MENTAL. I USED to write, USED to play piano, USED to read a lot, USED to attend art exhibits, theater, etc. because I enjoyed it, not because it was a social event. I must recover my mental peace and be creative again.<P>Too many goals? Just one: to recover myself, to rebuild a whole person in harmony with himself and God. If I get Alex back I'll be a whole person again and a good one to be with.<P>Alex<BR><P>------------------<BR>Live and learn

<B>ThisAlex</B>!<P>Above everything that ever gets posted here at MB...<P> <BR><B>YOU'VE DONE IT</B>!<BR> [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P><B>This</B> is what it takes...<BR><B>whether in</B> Plan A... Plan B... Plan P.... or no Plan at all!<P>If we <B>all</B> do this... life would be great...<P>It's hard for many to accept this...<BR>But this is the bottom line message throughout all of Dr. Harley' principals!<P>Thanks... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P>Jim

Jim said it all!! I think it's great and just what we're ALL trying to do.<P>Good job!!<P>Lori

<small>[ January 31, 2005, 02:36 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Alex,<P>You have come very far since your arrival here at MB. It took me about 8 months to reach this level and things are going very well for me.<P>Stay with your stragety! You will also be come out of this for the better.<P>I have said that I am almost, AMOST glad that this happened to me. I was on a self destructive path. I have learned so much from this site and these great people. I have cleaned up my act, got on some psych meds for my chemical imbalance and feel good about myself.<P>Val is responding to the "new and improved" Medic. I WILL not fail!<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

Just popping in to check how things are going 'cause I'm tired & I'm going to bed... W & I (yes, W & I) just came back from a party- nothing exciting but with interesting people and no we're just going to sleep.<P>Thank you guys for your support, I love you. See ya, I can't keep my e y e s opennnnnn... ZZZZzzzz.....<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR>Live and learn