I am new to this site. I am looking for a bit of advice. I am need to know what to do. I have made a really big mistake.

I have been with my man for going on 14 years. We have 3 children together. We just got married 2 months past. We got together when we were 14 years old. We both have done everything there is to be done to one another. Both good and bad. But we made it through because we love each other. He is my best friend.

I have always held marriage very high. You make vows to God and those vows are not to be broken. That is how I feel.

My husband had to leave home a month ago to be gone for almost 2 years. I went out last week and ended up cheating on him. We did not have sex but came close. I am devestated with myself. How could I have done this? If my husband finds out he will never forgive me. It will be over. How could I have risked my marriage for someone I don't even know? Should I be honest or forever keep it to myself?
In his eyes, I would never betray our marriage because I feel strongly about being faithful if you are married. I have let my husband down and myself.
Any advise would be helpful.!!!!

Hi and welcome

Weekends are slow so be patient.

Right now, I am struggling with issues myself, so at this time, I have no words of advice for you. Someone will be along who can help you more than I can

TELL YOU H!!! He deserves to know!!! You can't know his reaction until you tell him!!! I always told my FWH that if he cheated, I was gone... well he cheated and I'm still with him! We are now 12 months into recovery, and our relationship is better now than ever! The truth ALWAYS (or almost always...) come out... better now than later. By telling him now, you are showing him your remorse... if he finds out 6 months down the line, you will look like you were keeping this sordid little secret from him, and that might make it harder to deal with. You made a mistake... (a stupid one... sorry), but you CAN try to fix it. Have enough security in your M to work WITH your H on this! If you really regret what you did, let your H have the chance to decide what he wants to do... you could end up better than before... JMHO...

-mc

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"My husband had to leave home a month ago to be gone for almost 2 years."</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This sounds ominous. Did he commit a crime and go to prison?

Get "Surviving an Affair" by Willard Harley, and "Torn Asunder, by Carder. Read through them. They can help you figure out why you did what you did. They will also show you WHY you should tell your H. The short answer to that is that not telling will be a wedge between you that will never go away, and the only way to have the kind of marriage you want is to tell. As you say, there is a risk that telling will result in you having NO marriage, but the alternative is to never have a good one. Because you were together so long before getting married, you might also want to get "Buyers, Renters and Freeloaders" by Harley. I think it will realy help you understand a few things about your relationship with your H.