Many years ago my wife met a man and started a love affair,I caught her and confronted her,we sat down and talked and she said she would stop seeing him,I know for 10 years they were talking on the telephone,she denied for 30 years of what I had known,she was in love with him which she finally admitted,I know of 3 times they made love,I am not mad about her affair but I have asked her for years to just sit down and lets talk it over,get it all out in the open,I know that she met and had sex with him over the 10 year period but she says she cannot remember,I find this hard to believeI don,t want every detail of every touch they had,just the truth,why want she just sit and tell it all.it has made our marriage so miserable,she has been lying to me for so long,its gotten to the point where we don,t even talk to each other anymore,am I wrong in wanting to know the whole truth?only then can I put this behind me,I need womens advice on this,please if you have time give me some advice from a womans point of view.....fshman2000@yahoo.com

I am not a woman but my wife has had an affair. Maybe you would find the path we took to recovery helpful. If so, click on the link in my signature line.

She can't remember if she had sex with him over the past 10 year period? I think you just got your answer. She clearly has no respect for your intelligence. I wish you luck.