my h and I were best friends, i never suspected that he was entertaining the thought of cheating. After a few weeks of strange behavior from him, not talking to me and not wanting me near him, i began to suspect something. i grabbed his cellphone and checked the logs and there it was a number that i didn't recognize. so i called it and it was down hill from there, he was seeing a woman from work. he says no sex, and so does she, but i do not believe it. they both friendship, but he admitted things would have gone furtherif i had not found out. after a couple of huge arguments things have seemed to settle back to normal. but not for me, i feel numb, but i play the role as if nothing is wrong. he says he is not seeing her, but won't talk about it. i want to talk i need to know more, i still only think of him and this woman w/o a face. any advice on what to do now ?

My EX acted the same as your H......different. I knew something was up and I wasnt gonna sit by like a fool and take the abuse. I found the cell phone bill and it had about 50 calls to a number for like 1-2min. each. It didnt really make sense to me, until I dialed the number. Well, the number just beeped when I called it.....no greeting, no name, no nothing. Then it dawned on me. That was a code way of notifying the OM. She would call, the phone would beep.....she would tell him when to call her back or meet and whaaaalaaaahhhhhh! AFFAIR. My marriage ended shortly after all of this, and I realize yours is still in tact. All I can say, is that it will take a while before you can trust again....and what you are going thru is normal. My EX had a least an EA 7yrs ago which I forgave her for and after that I lost alot of trust in her....much which I never regained, and I always had my eyes peeled for infidelity on her part. Sure enough she did it again. I wish you luck, its gonna be a long hard road.....Ive been there, done that. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

EA (Emotional Affair) or PA (Physical Affair), the path to recovery (and a better marriage) is the same - click on the link in my signature line below to learn more about it.