BS's: I'm wondering, if you had the chance, what questions would you ask of your unfaithful partner? What things would you like to be asked about your experience?

WS's: What would you like to have been asked by your spouse? What would you like to ask your spouse?

Thanks!

C

Wow- Cerri.. There's alot as a bs that I would like to ask! Here's a few <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
1) The thought process. Knowing you could lose your entire family if you chose to have the A, but you still chose the A. Was it a "snap judgment" or did you think about it or fantasize about it for a long time?
2) I'm sure the WS feels guilty, but still involved in the A. How in your mind do you justify(if that's what you are doing)in order to keep the A going?
3) Do you really realize the pain you are causing your bs, or do you just kinda block that out? How do you hurt the person that loves you so much, so terribly. What makes is "o.k." in your mind.
4) What needs am I not fulfilling in order to make you happy at home.
5) How can I help you to "get out of the fog" and see the light that we can have a wonderful marriage. Is there anything I can do.
Ask me:
1) What can I do to help you feel more secure.
2) What needs do you need met to be happy in the marriage.
3) Tell me how you feel after the A so I can truly understand your pain and hurt so I understand more how to put the marriage back together.

In my case the situation in our life was ripe for an A either for him or I niether one of us was taking care of the other ones needs for him it was just how he is for me my giver got tired of not getting any response back so my taker took over and I shut down and quit trying to do for my H. As I look back now I should have been the one looking for someone to fill my needs more than him. So my questions would be as follows:
1)Why did you start a friendship with her and not just come to me to talk?
2)Why not put as much effort into us as you did developing a relationship with a stranger?
3)Why not make me feel so special and important not her?
4)Why did you have the time for her but you never seem to have the time for me?
5)Why were you able to take time off work to go meet her but when I asked you to take time off for the family the answer was always no I need to work?
6)Why was there money to finance the trip to go meet her but when it came to things we needed or wanted there was no money?
7)How could you give her the three most percious gifts of marraige,time,talk,and love?
And last but not least
8)How could you hurt me so when you had promised to love me and only me forsaking all others till death do we part?

all I asked him was - is she really worth of losing me

no answer on even this one
because he reeats and repeats - nno other woman except me in his life'yeah, righ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

what questions would you ask of your unfaithful partner? What things would you like to be asked about your experience?
1 question only. Not interested in anything else.

So why don‘t you pay any child support like you agreed to?

I'd like to get one answer from my WH:

Why did you say you loved me, and showed it too, until I confronted you with the A.
Why this 180 turnaround in your feelings?

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful answers. They are very helpful. If you have more thoughts, keep them coming.

C