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Joined: Apr 2003
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Hi, I've written here before. Married 8& 1/2 years, have a one year old son, and my husband told me a few months ago that he's not sure if he loves me anymore. Then, I found out about one month ago that he bought a condo in the complex down the street from our house, is living there with his secretary and her two kids, and proceeds to take Our son there for his visitation 3 nights a week. Regardless of the negative effects it's having on our baby, he insists he wants to see him and stay in his life. But, now he's doing crazy things...threatening phone calls, hang - up phone calls, keeps a video camera on his car dash - board to tape the exchange of our son - has anyone heard of such bizarre behavior as the result of an affair? It's freaking me out...I can understand he might be jealous of the attention I pay to the baby, but this is ridiculous (and after 8 & 1/2years of relatively happy marriage...)

Joined: Jan 2002
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No, but an A certainly enables it.

Have you talked to him about why he feels the need to act in this fashion? Not that you will get a lucid answer but just to see what's on his mind.

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Yes, I've tried to talk with him. All he can say is that he doesn't love me anymore, he's been "numb" since our baby was born one year ago, and that he wants to be "happy." Seems to fit the definition of Mid-Life Crisis, however, he absolutely will not discuss it, nor will he consider going to counseling. And, he seems to have no qualms about "splitting" our one year old son "in half." When is it time to give up - I'd love to reconcile, but he's been so bizarre...

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You know many men if not all need to adjust to the new person in the house, who seems to be the center of attention! But your husband is a way over the edge. Get professional help now. For yourself. You need the help to understand HIS insanity. He is behaving like he just wants to live on the parameter of his own family. With his secretary, get some professional help honey!!

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You should definately get professional help. Threatening phone calls and his surveillance. What is that about. Get help now. I would notify police about this.


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