I needed another more cheerful headline for my 'story' so I hope you'll forgive me for posting again.

I read this post from lostva:
"Infidelity » General Questions II » Calling lostva or any other success story (Page 1)(post no. 6 I think)"
- the very long and absolutely wonderful story of her succes on working on herself and her WS.

It inspired me so much and gave me a sense of peace inside. It convinced me that something CAN be done and MUST be done if I want my WS back. I want to be able to say: "I did all that could possibly be done to restore my marriage".
It requires patience and understanding - kindness - love - small steps taken every day.

H will move out tuesday.
He'll pursue his fantasy and remain in the fog for quite some time.
I'll be me and continue to work for a better life for me and all my loved ones.
In one way or another I will succeed - I know that now.

Hi,
I have to admire your ability to so quickly recognize and accept the Harley ideas, considering painful and emotional situation you are in right now.
But you are absolutely right - it is Your choice, and one way or another you will be OK. It will take a while, it will be a rollercoaster, you will have good and bad days, but eventually you will be absolutely sure you did you best, and will be able to welcome and accept either outcome.
For now I extend my hugs to you; as you know you are hardly alone, and as sad as it is, many of our personal stories are strikingly similar.
Be also assured that having your son will give your additional boost and stamina when going gets rough.
Post often; this usually helps alot, especially when you have to refrain from contacting your H.
FBOW

WOW!
You are fighting this battle with such high confidence! That is great! Don't let anything bring you down! Keep your positive attitude!
This might be premature but if you stay so confident you may realize you may not want him WHEN he crawls back to you!
I really do admire you! Just keep it up and if you feel like you are losing grip, still continue to write! (Either way write) There are lots of true caring people here who will help you to the end!
Yeaaaaaa!
Ali

DW, My heart goes out to you. This seems like it has all happened so fast I remember your first post. I wish I could kick your H in the backend and help wake him up, it sounds to me that he is walking out on one terriffic lady. Keep posting I find that when I'm really down just writing helps and maybe giving a helpful word to someone ends up helping me more than anything. I really admire you I hope I can become as strong and confident as you. Ginger <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

DW, I am so glad to see where you have come to so quickly. You and your child are your priorities right now. If your husband is lucky, he will wake up while you are still available and rebuild his family.

<small>[ June 08, 2003, 03:33 PM: Message edited by: Eleonora ]</small>

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I really need the encouragement you're giving me!

Today my WS took a map and studied Australia... that's where OW comes from - it hurt me so much that I kindly asked him to remove the map and wait with that kind of hurtful actions until he was out of sight.
He don't understand what I'm going through - he's so much in love with that woman that he's totally blind of what's going on around him.

I'll stick to Plan A as long as I can - holding my head high and keeping up my spirit.

It's difficult when my WS has suddently turned into an uncaring and cold monster.
He's not the man I married... a total stranger is leaving me. Hmmm - underneath the surface is bits and pieces of the man I love...
I want him back!

I just wanted to let you know that my H also turned into a completely different person after his A. So I know what you mean.

Our situations are very different, but I lived with a complete stranger for a whole year before I found out it was due to his having an affair. He became a monster!! Drinking, yelling, storming out of the house in a rage!! Hitting things (not me, thank God).

I now know about the affair, and we are working to rebuild our marriage. I hope that your H snaps out of this (if that is what you want), but until then I just wanted you to know that I, too, have been married to Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by DanishWoman:
<strong>I needed another more cheerful headline for my 'story' so I hope you'll forgive me for posting again.

I read this post from lostva:
"Infidelity » General Questions II » Calling lostva or any other success story (Page 1)(post no. 6 I think)"
- the very long and absolutely wonderful story of her succes on working on herself and her WS.

It inspired me so much and gave me a sense of peace inside. It convinced me that something CAN be done and MUST be done if I want my WS back. I want to be able to say: "I did all that could possibly be done to restore my marriage".
It requires patience and understanding - kindness - love - small steps taken every day.

H will move out tuesday.
He'll pursue his fantasy and remain in the fog for quite some time.
I'll be me and continue to work for a better life for me and all my loved ones.
In one way or another I will succeed - I know that now.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by SHD:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by DanishWoman:
<strong>I needed another more cheerful headline for my 'story' so I hope you'll forgive me for posting again.

I read this post from lostva:
"Infidelity » General Questions II » Calling lostva or any other success story (Page 1)(post no. 6 I think)"
- the very long and absolutely wonderful story of her succes on working on herself and her WS.

It inspired me so much and gave me a sense of peace inside. It convinced me that something CAN be done and MUST be done if I want my WS back. I want to be able to say: "I did all that could possibly be done to restore my marriage".
It requires patience and understanding - kindness - love - small steps taken every day.

H will move out tuesday.
He'll pursue his fantasy and remain in the fog for quite some time.
I'll be me and continue to work for a better life for me and all my loved ones.
In one way or another I will succeed - I know that now.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"></strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
ugggghhhh! I can totally relate with you Danish and Ms. Blonde! It is like some alien coming down and abducting our husbands and leaving us with a droid! This person I am living with is NOT the person I knew a year ago!
Gee's, I also know what it is like for having your husband being totally insensitive to you! My word! I am still dealing with it!
Just hang in there! Ahhhh, you know what would be a bust on him? Act like your are interested in the land down under and say things that you might be interested to you about Australia. He might be trying to get your goat. But by doing this, he might be floored with your response that you are trying to take interest!!!
Just a thought! What does anyone else think? Am I way off???
Ali

I'm kinda happy to hear that it's 'normal' for a WS to change like that.
I know he misses her so bad that he can't sense anything else.

I'm so sad today but I haven't cried yet.
My H left this morning and we didn't even say a proper goodbye... I had to go to work before he woke up.
I put a hand on his shoulder while I said goodbye to him last night before bed and told him that I'm very sad our relationship should end like this and told him I love him. He said "I'm feeling sad too" but he didn't move a finger - just looked at me with his cold eyes... - he just meant "sad that the OW isn't here".

Danish,Im not good at the advice part. So before ai say a word let me say Im so sorry for you and yours. But I can tell you something about the cold look. Its ugly isnt it?

During our time of seperation when H left the home he was a cold hateful person. And no matter what he dihed out I stood there smiled a sad smile and always told him I loved him, It wasnt a plan or this sight (i just found this site) It was what was in my heart.After a short period of time he began telling me how differant I was. And when he would I would tell him all the things I had hoped for, why I made choices I did,and I had to share with him what ow was doing to myself and our kids. He came home, for the first 7 months it was hell. I cant lie. I still have my days, but things are differant. And he tells me I am differant, and he is right, Ive said before its like being broken in a million pieces and no edges match to glue back together so for awhile you do the best at patching you can until the real healing begins.But seeing the buits and pieces of the man I loved is what gave me hope. And I often reminded him then and now how much I loved that person. Respected that person and what it was that attracted me to him. My mother in law told me sweetness will attract alot faster than bitterness. I got both and Im working on them, I do hope your situation gets better soon and you as with everyone on these boards will be in my prayers because without strong faith there is no foundation!