What do you think?

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I have a serious problem, - how do I recognize the difference between LB's and annoying behaviour?
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A question from another post of mine about sending a letter to the OW (which I thought would be a huge LB - but isn't according to cerri - and I believe she's right):

After work my H came to the house to collect some stuff of his. I asked him for his key to the car (which is mine) and he gave it to me. Then he asked me to return my card to his bankaccount and I gave it to him.
Then - LB??? - I asked him for the key to the house... he asked me to be fair and let him keep it - "of course" I said "no problem - but will you please knock next time you come around instead of walking right in?". I was polite and nice but the cold distance between us hit me in the face.

See - I can't tell or feel the difference! I feel that every little thing I do or say is annoying to him. If I'm sad it annoys him. It annoys him when I'm cheerful. No matter what I say or do he's acting either like he want to say "nothing you do makes an impression, I don't care" --OR-- "I dislike what you say/do".

It's very frustrating.
[B][/B]

Not all responses by the BS to the WS are love busters. If you had respectfully denied his request for the key to the house you could have explained that he could not guarantee that the OW would not get her hands on the key and secretly make a duplicate of it to gain entry at a future time. And since he is moving out, it is now your responsibility to protect both you and your son from any stranger wanting to get in with the intent of harming the two of you.

I would like for you to seriously consider changing the locks to the house for the reason I specified above.

Danish,

It is not LB. He might get upset ... but it is not your responsibility of his feeling or protect his feeling. You need to protect yourself ... your behavior become annoying if you repeat it many times and after he tell/hint you to stop it. Actually if you don't think it is right to let him keep the key ... you should ask it back ... if he doesn't then you change the lock. Changing the lock w/o notifying and after you let him keep the key is LB ... of course if you feel you are in danger you should change it and notify him.

-rh-

Besides..annoying isn't so bad. It's amazing how "annoyed" a WS can get when they see the BS moving on with their life. It often gets their attention like nothing else!

What you don't want to do is yell and holler and fight and cry everytime he walks in the door or picks up the phone.

Remember...You need to focus on YOU and your child and YOUR future...when your H wakes up and becomes "annoyed" that you can walk your healing path without him if he's not willing to do the work necessary to create a healthy marriage...well...THEN you make a decision IF you want him back beside you.

Right now, he's making his own decisions...You've got to do what is needed to protect you!

I agree..someone who doesn't live in the house...doesn't need a key. I'd ask for it again...and then change the locks if necessary. JMHO