Hi Everyone: I have been on this board many times in that last few months. Tried Plan A/B but my W was never interested in any counceling at all. We even tried with MC but she continued with A and admitted if I had not found out she would have continued even after we had planned to move to a new home in another part of the country on the east coast. It was a 4year A. I caught them together 3 times and finally went for D with incontrovertable evidence too.I am in personal C and its costing me $. Also I was the primary caregiver to the children while W was away on business/and OM 5 days a week. Nevertheless there are custody issues right now over the kids, also costing me$. Your input and advice has been formidable and appreciated in the past. I have never called the OM his W or contacted HR at the company they both work for. I have also contracted a permenant STD from her and her OM. I have been faithful through out our 21 years marriage. The OM was her boss and she also got promoted during the 4 year A. Question do I have any rights re: compensation or otherwise from the company. Please let me know.

BA7

Why not ask an attorney?

Thanks will do

hi i am interested in the info you have gather from you lawyer, it seems that your situation and mine have some similiraties, i do not have the means to ask a lawyer at the moment but i will apreciate, any info you can give me
sacamuelas

Sacamueals: Thanks for your response. I am persuing some form of compensation through council and will get back to you. The reason I wrote this in the first place is because months ago on this forum a victim of an A did inform the company and received something (memory fails me). If that person or anyone else has had a simular experieces please let us know. With sincere thanks

BA7

How absolutely horrible for you. I hope you receive compensation if it is possible. I do not see how you have been able to restrain yourself from contacting the OM's wife. The actions of your wife for 4 years is beyond contempt. I wish you luck and I hope you have a great attorney.

Thanks Bryanp: You know how many times I've had the urge to call not just the other wife (with family) but send out the pictures and letters too. To be quite honest the last 4 years have been hell as you can relate to. In good conscience I couldn't put another family through the trauma. However many of you have given very strong support and reasons for letting it all out. Still reflecting and gathering points of view and legal facts. Still painful, wrestling with the "powers and principles" of a decision and its implications.I have strong support system of close friends. Nevertheless, to hear from you and others who have walked the walk is an extraordinary comfort. God Bless very much!
Hey, its Friday!!
BA7

PS.Do have a good attorny for family stuff but investigating more of specialist with these unique issues. I'm researching and waiting for the right one for this. I'm together enough to wait patiently.

short note have you found anything else, i have tried to find out here about compensation and my case is similar but with different begining and that is what i am fighting here the company where my wife and OM do not tolerate relationship between her employees, and the hiring some one after the employer requested sex with the promise of a job is a big no no. my lawyer is trying to find out how many more women (his wife too) he offered a job and what he asked for them to get it.
we are talking few people. there even a human right investigation about his sexual conduct, i thing i can see that the company does not want big public knowldge of his conduct i thing there at list 40 to 50 women that he asked for sex some of them (the majority)under age. so i think i will wait and see
sacamuelas

brokenarrow7,

All other issues aside, definitely tell the OMW what is going on. Reverse situation; if she knew and you did not, would you want her to tell you, or would you prefer to live in a lie...

Also, tell the HR in her company, compensation or not. In the military, adultery is punishable by stockade time and discharge(dishonorably). Most companies won't abide it either out of fear of negative publicity if nothing else...

Just yesterday I read a post from TooMuchCoffeeMan that I think fits this scenario very well: Remember that if they lose their jobs, they have only themselves to blame. You're moving on, and it sound like your going about it the right way. They are still in the fantasy...

Jake

<small>[ August 08, 2003, 09:35 PM: Message edited by: JakeB ]</small>

BA,
at this point your W really needs her little world rocked...and i mean big time. I would definetly get in contact with the OM's wife for starters. then be in contact with the HR department where they both work; with as much info as you can get.

i would follow that up with a letter to them from your attorney asking for financial compensation for fostering a work inviroment where this kind of thing is tolerated...and no you probably have no case but the company will not want to fool around with it any way and will most likely off the two miscreants leaving your W unemployed and in as poor a financial situation as you're in.

look, sometimes you have to hit them in the head with a 2 by 4 to get their attention. loosing her job and reputation should help to get her attention at least.

and have you been in contact with her family and her friends? have you opened this thing up totally to the light of truth? if not why not? and you should begin doing it right away. it doesn't sound like you have anything to lose at this point so take off the gloves and go to war.

by the way, i'm not suggesting that you behave with the manner and style of attila the hun. in personal communication with your W you should explain that everything that you've decided to do, you're doing with all good intentions of saving the marraige...and yes she will laugh in your face but if you stay the course and keep repeating the line she will finally understand. k

eep telling her that you want to save the marriage but have no other recourse as to dealing with her at this point. that she has conered you and caused you great pain, yet with it all you still believe that this thing canbe worked out.

coach