Haven't been here in a few weeks, been working very hard with my WS on her series of infidelities (internet sex chat, phone sex, and 3 live hook-ups)
Things are going pretty well, all things considered. We are through 5 sessions of
MCing and making progress - there have been a few lies, and 1 contact with one of these other men in recent weeks - a setback, I guess ?
The other day, I realized just how many people in our inner circle have gone through infidelity, seperation, and divorce in the period post-9/11. Not that these things are new, but between my wife , our friends, family, and coworkers, there has been this HUGE rise in incidents of it.
I began to wonder if somehow, some of this isn't an outcropping of psyche altering behaviors in a post-9/11 world. it just seems too coincidental that so many people we know have battled through these issues, as well as depression and other things in this time frame.
i'm in no way making any kind of excuse for it - just an observation.
BTW, my wife and I were tested for STDs , as one encounter she had was unprotected. The results came back,and everything was negative. Since HIV and hepititus can lie dormant for a while, it was suggested we be retested again at 3, 6, and 9 months to be certain.
At least THAT fear has been lifted somewhat from what we are dealing with !!
This is a slow, rocky road. We are now 2 months since D-day. Every day things get a little better, we have definitely opened up so much more than we have in years, and i believe she is truly working to make things right.
In some ways, I'm relieved that she did not fall in love with one of these men, and that a lot has been made clearer by here GYN and what effect this age(she is 38, I am 40) has on women in terms of hormones and sexual feelings.
I see light at the end of this tunnel, but there are times it is all just overwhelming to the spirit. I'm hanging in for now, believing that our 18 years together HAS not been in vain, and that our desire to get past this, make sure we are handling each others needs, and being more open will get us another 18 and then some !
