So, the ex-WS and I are sitting at a restaurant, finally taking some time to talk and enjoy each other's company. My ex-WS had an affair with a 21 year old female (he's 48) that he met at his 12 step recovery meetings. They were perceived as a "couple" by others at the recovery meetings. I don't know if he told people he was divorced (he wasn't at the time) or allowed them to believe it, or, maybe they didn't care. It bothered me that their relationship was accepted by others in recovery. She got pregnant and had the OC a little over a year ago. Ex and I are trying to work on reconciliation. Well, people start coming into the restaurant and my Ex is looking up, nodding, saying "Hi, how you doing?". He doesn't introduce me as they're just passing by, and these are typically people he knows from his recovery meetings. He tries to respect them being "anonymous". In the past I didn't have a problem with this, but after the A my trust has been wounded. I know some of these individuals were in recovery, because I had seen them when I had gone to Al-Anon meetings, and this was the restaurant they went to after meetings. I started wondering what they knew about my ex and the OW and our past marriage. I worried about what they might be thinking about me. Also, several of them were very good looking women. I lost my appetite. When my ex asked what was wrong, I finally choked out that I was really uncomfortable wondering what they might know that I didn't and that they were good looking women. I also told him that I was sad and angry that I even had to be dealing with these thoughts and feelings. This was another consequence of his choices, and I hadn't anticipated it. He said he understood and that he loved me and was with me because he wanted me, not any other woman. I told him that I hated it that I even doubted his statement, as before the A. I would have totally believed what he said. I survived the experience, but don't you get tired of having these consequences keep popping up??!!
