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#431242 06/23/03 12:26 AM
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 21
H
Junior Member
Junior Member
H Offline
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 21
I found out 3 weeks ago that my H has been having a 7 year affair with his friends sister. How do I deal with the fact that it went on so LONG? He was living 2 seperate lives.

<small>[ June 23, 2003, 12:37 AM: Message edited by: HeartBroken26 ]</small>

#431243 06/23/03 07:52 AM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,166
J
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J Offline
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,166
I'm not sure I can answer your question very well, except to say that with longer affairs, recovery tends to be longer than with shorter affairs. The path to recovery is the same in all cases, and you can click on the link in my signature line for my take on that - my wife's affair lasted three years, so hers was longer than "normal", too. In addition to the resources outlined in the link below, I want to recommend to you a book called "The State of Affairs", by Mulliken. It has a chapter on "The Double Life Man" that you may find helpful, and also discusses long-term affairs some - because while not "typical", they are frequent enough to be worth mentioning, and they usually have some common characteristics and common contributing factors which Harley does not cover in "Surviving an Affair".

#431244 06/24/03 09:39 AM
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 21
H
Junior Member
Junior Member
H Offline
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 21
Thank you so much for answering me. You provided some great information. I will check out that book you recommended. There is so little information out there about long term affairs. I am just trying to understand how he could do that to me for 7+ years.

Me...44
H...44
A...12/95 to 5/03
D-day 5/29/03
Married 23 years


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