last night i talked with a gal who is going to a psychologist who calls himself a marriage consultant, rather than a marriage counselour.<P>he listens to both sides, and says to each partner what they need to change. gives 'em a set time frame to work on it & some suggestions on how to act/react/change.<P>if they don't want to do the changes he recommends, then they are out of his office.<P>this lady & her spouse have been seeing him since october (2 months) and they have already seen mega changes in their marriage.<P>this seems better to me than the traditional hand-holding-you-poor-thing-tell-me-your-troubles-type.<P>the example she used went something like this: if you are having financial troubles in your business, you hire a financial consultant. he goes over the books & points where & what changes to make, you make 'em, and next 1/4, you're making $$.<P>i think that's one reason why harley appeals to me!<P>just a question/observation<P>lostgirl

sounds like it could work if you could actually get the other spouce to go!!! <P>------------------<BR>:) I will love my husband "Always & Forever" :)<P>

A good marriage counselor will do both. The root core of all problems the the ability to commmunicate the the other what they feel. So the first thing they do is usally let each side tell their story. Until the anger and emotion is released, the ears and mind will not listen. For example, for the first 2 visits with the counciler, my W went nuts with her anger, compaints, etc... I spoke with the counselor one on one and he told me to keep her venting those feelings. Her logic had went crazy, but by letting her vent all of this feeling, she then started to thing rationally and the anger and other feelings were then not so strong.<P>After the release of all the pin up feelings, then the councelor can start dealing with things that each had done wrong to bring them to the point where they are in there marriage. It take two to mess up a marriage. <P>