About ten years ago me and my W worked together. It seemed that some Coworkers of ours had noticed that my W and her supervisor were talkin about some things that 2 married people shouldnt be. So they notified me and I asked her to please try and not talk to him. She told me she would. Then 2 weeks later a Coworker was out eating and noticed my W and the Supervisor eating dinner with my son also. She noticed the coworker and he told her if she didnt tell me, he was going to.
So she, being caught told me she was thinkin of pursuing him and got caught, assured me no sex happened, swearing on her life, children and anything else. It seemed genuine to me and I contacted work, the OM got fired and me and W got moved to another location. That was around 10 years ago. For 10 years and about 1000 times I asked her in every type of situation possible, did you have sex with him? She told me 1000 times no. Obviously I was comfortable about that answer. Well just the other day my W and I went out to a wedding and she notified me that she had something to say. She loves me, she has always loved me, and she did have sex with the supervisor 10 years ago. TWICE! I have always seemed to no this and have asked 1000 times and been lied to 1000 times, and it hurts sooooo bad. I have read tons of literature about the steps to recovery and all. We have had sex every day for 10 days now sometimes twice. But i keep thinking of him on top of her, I need to keep doing it to show her im better, I feel like i lost my manhood, i feel lesser then her, like she won and will always have that WIN in her FOREVER, keep asking every day is there anything else you would like to tell me and she tells me, NO thats it and that demon has bothered her for 10 years and she feels releif. OMG! Her releif is my suffering. I have 3 children and am so lost. I LOVE HER TO DEATH and feel so STUPIED for not wanting to leave her. The thought has still never crossed my mind. SOMEONE please give me some insite, help, answer, MAGIC PILL to cure me of this HORROR. OMG OMG OMG. sorry and thx

Welcome to MB HNH.

From your last painful words in your post it sounds like your emotional state of mind is all over the place, and you are in no condition to make life altering decisions (remain married or divorce) at this moment in time. Go see your doctor ASAP and have him/her prescribe you anti-depressant medication to help you regain control of your emotions. Beleive me when I tell you that the AD medication was a life saver for me when I was dealing with the emotional turmoil caused by my ex-wife's multiple affairs, because I was able to continue to function normally despite the raging emotional upheaval inside of me. Not only will this benefit you but your family as well.

<small>[ June 25, 2003, 09:34 PM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>

Your pain and questions sound just like mine. I wish I had the answers. I am affraid she will always be in my head. Just know that the others here have been thru it and have somehow survived. I thank God every day that I found this site and Harley. It has saved my sanity (spelling? lol) I hope you will find help here also.

I am sorry for your pain. The fact that she went out to dinner with the Supervisor and having your son along is reprehensible. Having an affair is bad enough but having your child sit with him over dinner is very disturbing. I have no answer to somebody who would lie to your face for a
1000 times. I just think all of this is so sad for you. I wish you luck.