I just found out from someone else that my husband was having an affair. I love my husband & want to try & work things out, but he is insisting that he wants to remain friends with his lover who works at the same plant. We also do a lot of camping & he has told me that she will be camping this weekend with her cousins. We have already made reservations at the same place. What am I suppose to do?
I have never felt so embarassed & lost.
I should also mention that we are parents of 3 girls. My husband is also an alcoholic & has been thru Homewood already with obviously no success. Sobriety lasted barely a month.
Tomorrow we are going camping & he says that if he stops at his x-lover's campsite for a beer so what. Obviously he is not getting the picture. Remaining friends with her is more important then me or our marriage,

I wish to say that things have gotten better but I feel like I am on a roller coaster, things are good, things are bad, things get good again, then bad. He has now gone to legal services to pay for a lawyer. He stayed away from home, me & our 3 girls all from thursday aft til sunday morning. I found out after that he was helping the lover cut hay. So am assuming he was with her all the time. Bills are going unpaid, he does little talking, never seems to answer my questions, how am I suppose to save this marriage.
I take sleeping pills & still cant sleep, stomach upset constantly, losing weight (a good thing).

Help

<small>[ July 22, 2003, 09:00 PM: Message edited by: 7803 ]</small>

There can be no marital recovery without your H(husband's) committment of no further contact with the OW(other woman i.e. lover). If she is married, you also need to contact her H and tell him about her A(affair) with your H. Also avoid lashing out at your H via love busters (habits that destroy romantic love i.e. selfish demands, angry outbursts, and disrespectful judgements). Read Dr Willard Harley's books 'Surviving An Affair','Love Busters' and 'His Needs Her Needs'. We are NOT professional counselors, but we do share the sad experience of betrayal from our spouses, and offer each other emotional support while the ordeal of the A(affair) is in progress. As painful as it is, you will survive this emotional upheaval.

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