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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3 |
My H had an affair 7 years ago, there have been questionable relationships since then, but nothing for sure, lately he has been staying out late, calling to see if I'm at work at odd times. He has started worring about his weight, and hair. Making plans when he knows I'm going to busy. I questioned him about it he says I'm over reacting, he just got alot going on at work.
I feel like he is seeing someone again.
I cant go through that again.
What is the best next move for me, give it time and see what happens? OR do some checking up on him?
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 336
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 336 |
I think with the observations you have made already and the fact that you are here and your H's past, you are probably right.
I would start checking cell phone and e-mails if you can. If you can't, try to keep communication as open as possible to see how open he will be.
If he hasn't already begun an A, my bet is he is close to it so I would really try to check up w/out him knowing or he'll be more careful.
I know when my H began his A he would call me first to see what I was up to and then call the OW once he knew where I was going to be, etc. so he would know if he could mention anything to OW re meeting, etc.
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 5 |
When I suspected W was having an affair, I wasnt sure how to confirm it. I figured if I didnt have concrete proof, then it would just be denied. People tend to get take more and more risks as the affair progresses and the cheater often uses the home computer for communication. Not sure if anyone else advocates this, but there is software that you can buy that monitors activity on your pc including websites visited and emails they type. When I all I had were suspicions of the affair, I felt like a real snake in the grass resorting to this type of "spying". But I'm glad I did since I it helped me confirm it.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,398
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Member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,398 |
My EX denied and still denies she had any type of affair.....hmmmmmmm........not that it matters now, but after we seperated......less than one month later, some new guy was going to dinner with my kids and now EX. She had to know this guy and have feelings for him long before in order for her to bring him around my kids so soon. Gut feelings are usually always correct.
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3 |
Thanks, for the replys, and your right the gut feeling is always the one to go with. I felt that maybe I was over reacting, just looking for something. That is what he tells me. I had hoped we wouldnt go down this road again. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 105
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 105 |
I had a gut feeling back in January. I tell my wife that and she get's pissed Because " she has never given me any reason not to trust her". Cant't say that anymore huh. I could just tell that she enjoyed attention from this man. I should have done or said something then. Don't make the same mistake
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 975
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 975 |
I agree you need to check up on him.
Why not try talking to him a lot about his problems and feelings? And not about the house, the M, the kids, or the cars...but about life?
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