<BR>I don't know if you guys remember me but I posted a couple of days ago about busting my H at the OW's apartment and I acted like a fishwife. The funny thing is I didn't cry.....and now this bothers me....even though I was devastated, the tears would not come and still haven't......Is there something wrong with me?

Stella,<P>I don't think there is something wrong with you. You are in shock. Shut down. Your own minds way of probably keeping you as together as possible. <P>The tears will come. <P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<P>

Samantha's right, Stella. Don't worry about it. Your crying jag will come soon enough and then you'll worry 'cause you can't stop.<P>Part of the process.<P>Lori

You're not unusual. When I busted my husband, the same thing happened...no tears.<BR>They came latter...but not often. I think you are stronger than you think. Hang in there.

There's <I>nothing</I> wrong with you. It's a natural response to a great shock, to shut down emotionally. I wouldn't even worry if you don't <I>ever</I> cry; sometimes the shutdown of emotions allows you to mentally deal with or rationalize through the mental trauma without having to suffer the emotional trauma as well.<P>I remember when OW phoned me & told me all manner of things, including an incredibly vile rendition of their supposed sexual activities, as well as saying many incredibly cruel (& untrue) things. I remember all throughout the conversation I was calm and collected, no emotion whatsoever. It was almost like talking to a pollster on the phone: "oh yeah?" "really." "interesting." ...and no, I <I>never</I> cried about that conversation. My mind had the time to deal with it and put it behind me before my emotions kicked in to set me back mentally.<P>So don't worry about crying. Either it will or it won't happen. Either way it's perfectly normal.<P>------------------<BR>~~ Elixir ~~<P>

Stella,<P>It is funny how emotions work. Befor discovery I only cried once and that was at my Grandfathers funeral.<P>On D-Day if found myself in the fetal position in the driveway crying like a wounded baby. I have also sat in the bathroom at work several times fetalised, and crying, most recent was last Tuesday.<BR>I cry every night now.<P>One of the blessings of all this is I now feel mu feelings be they painful or joy ful.<BR>Last Sunday in church I had tears of joy running down my cheeks. When my beautiful Robin returns I'll have tears of thanks running down my cheeks again.<P>I guess my point being that our minds deal with emotions in completely different ways.<BR>Robin who was one of the most feeling people I have ever met, has only started feeling again in the last 5 weeks. I know that when her emotions finaly come to the surface we'll reconcile.She chooses to guard them, to protect herself from the reality of the situation. I on the other hand have chosen to <B>FEEL</B> everything.<P>I would guess in time they will come when you can handle them. <P>God won't give me more than I can handle.<P>Bill <P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>