I am a 42-year old woman who has been married to a controlling husband for 18 years. We have one 13-year old son. For years and years, I have put up with his controlling ways. I was the one who obeyed and always walked on egg shells or smoothed things out when we disagreed. I was the aplogizer. For some reason, I am now looking at my friends' relationships with their husbands and wish so much that mine was like theirs. I can honestly now step aside and look at my relationship with my husband and see it from another "angle". My mother has witnessed my husband's controlling ways for years, but never said anything until now, because I can also see it from my own eyes. We owned a business which he ran, then we sold it 2 years ago. He has not worked since then. I have a job outside of the home. He controls the finances. My paycheck is deposited into a joint checking account. He questions my spending constantly. He questions my friends, what I am doing, etc. I feel more and more resentment towards my husband. I feel that I am in a cage and he controls the door. I have asked him to go to counseling with me, which he totally dismisses. I go on my own during my lunch hour, but he does not know that I'm doing it. Again, I'm trying to keep the peace. My son gets so emotional when my son and I have heated discussions, and although we try to keep it from him, he knows what is going on. I just don't know how much more of this treatment I can take. I love him, but the resentment is building and to where I am falling out of love with him. I don't know what else I can do to make this work. I am exhausted. Is this a lost cause? Thanks for your help!
