I have some questions for those that use it.

If I download it from the internet (found one that had a free trial period). Will he be able to find it? Also does the software 'hide' somewhere so only I know where it is? I'm nervous to do this, but want to for my sanity....or do you think I should confront him first with what I know.

I just hate feeling this way.

Biker- about 20 days ago?? I asked about snoopware and had several responses both here on JFO and at Gen Questions II.. Look for 2boysmom as the originator and the headline was something about snoopware. Good luck.

2bm

I'm so frustrated I"m ready to bust! I hate this roller coaster ride! Thanks for the info on spyware...I went back and read the posts. My DH is VERY computer savvy...it is what he does. He just got done building a very, very hi-tech with all the latest buttons and bells computer.

I'm glad I didn't get the software as I'm sure he would detect it. I believe he thinks I'm dumb enough to not know about 'history'...little does he know!

If you are talking about internet history... he can go into tools/options/and make the history "0". Just in case you didn't know...

My H knows about computers too and knows a lot about software so I'm afraid as well but really wish I could and wonder if he would notice if he didn't suspect????

Anyway, you can go to internet files under My Computer I think and see where they have visited but you won't be able to know if he has actually been chatting or email'g because you will see pop up ad stuff there as well and won't know whether it was a pop up or a place he visited as far as I know.

Anybody else know any better?

If you are talking about internet history... he can go into tools/options/and make the history "0". Just in case you didn't know...

My H knows about computers too and knows a lot about software so I'm afraid as well but really wish I could and wonder if he would notice if he didn't suspect????

Anyway, you can go to internet files under My Computer I think and see where they have visited but you won't be able to know if he has actually been chatting or email'g because you will see pop up ad stuff there as well and won't know whether it was a pop up or a place he visited as far as I know.

Anybody else know any better?

FYI

concening "history" on the toolbar. My H is not computer savvy. I didn't want him to know that I could check up on him and where he was surfing so I disabled "history" myself. Then, whenever I wanted to check up, I would enable it again, take a look at it, then disable it again.

The way you enable/disable is to go to the toolbar at the top of your webpage. Right click on "View" come down to "toolbars" then go to "customize". In that window you have the ability to enable/disable things.

Hope this helps. And by the way, I caught him in pornography places then actually told him I had. (Didn't tell him how...HeHe) Luckily they weren't anything too bad. So my solution was to tell him (This is after discovering the affair, so I am a bit more adventurous) that I wanted to be with him when he was looking at these sights. He was thrilled! So we watched about two or three different times, and I finally said, "Is this all they do?" It was so funny! We got the biggest laugh out of the fact that watching it together just made it lose its lustre. I also threw in (in the middle of a particularly lewd scene) how sad I felt for the girl to be doing this. Commented on the fact that someone would have to have suffered some serious abuse, have terribly low self-esteem to do something like this. Told how awful it would be if one of our kids ended up doing something like this. I believe I sufficiently cured him from his interest in this. Haven't caught him any more and have even asked him if he wants to go watch something just to see what his reaction is. To this day, he says that he just doesn't like it any more. I was sneaky, but it worked! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I have been using the one sold on www.iopus.com. It's called starr.

It has the ability to run in stealth mode. Like the one you bought, stealth mode is not available in the free trial.

If you do not want him to know about it, then you have to use the stealth mode. Otherwise it pops up a window at times to say that the computer is being monitored.

My H and I are very computer savy. The only way we can find it when it is running is in the system registry. Most people do not even know that the registry exists.

To help you hide it further, they allow you to install it with any name you want.

We run it in stealth mode on all of our computers.

I agree with zorweb, Starr spyware is great. It cost around $40 and was worth every cent. My DH has never detected it. BUT you have to buy it because the trial version will not be invisible. When you DL it, DL it to "save to disk" instead of "open from website" otherwise it will default to open mode instead of invisible mode. When you install it, select invisible. It is very easy to use and virtually indetectable.

BikerMom, I would gather evidence before I confronted him. You need to know the EXACT extent of what is going on. It may all be semi=harmless as far as you know. If you gather evidence first, you will know for sure. And a false accusation is a huge lovebuster.

Thanks all! A couple of days ago he was back futzing around the computer. He just built it so I'm still cautious about installing something.

Interesting exchange last night. Visiting a friends house and TV is on. Some show with a very nice looking woman. DH says "What a babe" HIS friend smacks him and says "Don't talk like that in front of your wife or for that matter any other time. You've got a great family. Don't screw it up" I didn't have to do anything!!

As far as looking at Porn with him...well...DH has always been very straight/plain type of guys. Me on the other hand has been very, very adventerous (before meeting DH...long time ago, but he knows about it)....and me suggesting we watch it together would be a major turn off for him.

Right now things are pretty good...but like you all know it is a giant roller coaster ride!

I thought that this was rather funny.

for the last couple of days, i have been getting "Hacker" notices from the account which i do all of my MarriageBuilding through. I do not use the main account because i do not want H to know. But he knows I am up to something.

SOOOOOOOO..... my H has his degree in computer securities, a Masters in computer junk, and lots of experience through the military. He works with this stuff still. No dumby when it comes to computers. Iknow someting about computers too, but keep my mouth shut cause I follow him and his dealings too. I have suspected him snooping from work 'cause my computer gets very very slow when i am on MB, or when i am in the account i go from doing general stuff. good sign there is someone snooping.

So, i have been getting these notices from the account provider. today, they have been having me go thru hoops and obstical courses to further detect any wrong doing. Cool huh?

I personally do not care if my H knows i am MBing. But, he is probably having a good time playing dectective hacker. Boy, won't he be dissappointed. No cyber-sex, just cyber-MBing, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />