My husband of thirteen years lost his job over a woman that he had become infatuated with at his job. Of course, he denied it. He claims that they were just friends. However, I discovered that he gave this woman an $89.00 bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. He did not give me anything. He would also write here little notes. He no longer has contact with this woman. He claims that he never had any physical contact. However, he says that the subject is closed and he refuses to talk about it. I am devasted. I feel extremely betrayed. What should I do?

IAH,

Welcome to the forum. You have come to a good place. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Let me ask this:

If nothing happened, why did he get fired? You don't get fired for simply being friends with someone. Are you guys in counseling?

Hello IAH,

Welcome to MB.
I am sure that you feel very hurt and betrayed this is normal.Have you read much here?If not read as much as you can.You may want to order some reading material Surviving an Affair is a great book it really helped me with understanding why and also my feelings.

There are many here that will be able to give you much better advice than me.I just would like to let you know you are not alone.What you are going through is very hard and your pain is real.

Will your husband talk to you at all about your feelings?
Has he found another job?

Sometimes they do not want to talk out of guilt,this could be the case for your husband.

Good luck to you I will check in on you later to see how things are going.

He was fired because he was spending too much time in her office. The administrator is really against "romancing" on the job. Before he got fired the employee in charge of human resources opened my husband's office and there she found a picture of her on his desk as well as cards that she had given him. She immediately went to the administrator. After he got fired, the woman that my husband was having an affair with asked for vacation time. While she was on vacation, the administrator opened the woman's office and found notes and cards that my husband had given her. My husband still says that the notes were innocent and that it was just a friendship. He said that he would leave her notes saying, "you are so pretty." There is nothing innocent about that. We are not going to counseling. He refuses. Actually right now we are barely speaking. He gets very defensive.