Hi, I knew something was terribly wrong when my husband was going outside every single night in Dec ( said he was walking around the yard thinking) from 9pm to 2am. On Jan 2,3 and 4th, he was out ( said driving around) didnt come home until the next morning, the 4th, he came home at 7:30am went straight to bed, and his cell phone began ringing, it was a name I had never heard of before..( and will never ever forget) She didnt just call once, she called 7 times one right after another. I confronted him with it, he said she was just a friend from work. Jan 5th he kicked me out of our home, the very same day my mother died. I was dealing with this affair that I didnt have positive proof yet, plus my mom dying of cancer. After he kicked me out, a week later he starting calling me, asking me if I wanted to try and work it out. 3 weeks later I came back, and the first thing I said to him was, all the lying must stop, he agreed. Well the rest of Feb, March APril and May, each and every time I got his cell phone bill, it showed he was still talking to her 10-14 times a day. I was asking him regularly if he had spoken to her and each time I asked he would tell me, NO he was no longer talking to her. When I came back, I began snooping, for more signs, and came across a reciept for a dozen roses and a braclet, this was 3 days before Christmas, (and he looked me in the eyes and told me there was NO money for Christmas) that he had sent to her classroom, again I confronted him with it, and he admitted it, said it was a thank you ( he had only known her for 2 weeks) it was a thank you ( he said) for listening to him. But he claimed to me, all they ever talked about was work.
Anyway, he finally admitted it in April that he had slept with her, then saId he used a bad choice of words, that he never actually slept with her, but they were very very intimate. That was the worst day of my entire life, I have to say even worst than my mother dying. I have yet to deal with her dying, and must soon begin to mourn.
In May of him constantly dening his seeing her or talking to her,something told me to wake up at 1:30 in the morning and check his voice mail on his phone, so i did, the message was as follows: So i guess we are not meeting tonight, must of had other plans, well call me when you get a chance. I freaked, again he said he NEVER made plans with her to see her, that she was a crazy Bit%%. The later part of May, I seen a email from him to her giving her his new cell phone that work had bought him, ( and yes now the bills go to his work, so I will now NOT know whether they are talking) and in the email he also said dont call the other phone as it is not on me anymore, she wrote back and asked why? He didnt respond to her. My comment to him was, if the affair were truely over, there was NO need to give her your new number and esp no need to tell her to NOT call the other phone, the one they spent so much time together on. It has been a few months, but the images are still soooo fresh in my mind, esp when I try to ask him questions, and he denies constantly that it was NOT an affair, because he aaid when he kicked me out of our home, that meant we were broke up. I have a totally different view on that one, if I had been a girlfirend and he kicked me out, then yes we would of been broke up, if we had been divorced, then yes we would of been broke up. I understand time heals, but in time, I have no idea if I can forgive him, esp with his constant lying.
May I also mention, he is taking female hormones, and a testerone blocker, he states he does not want the full operation of being a woman, but he wants and is growing breasts. I sometimes wonder, am I the one who is so very messed up?
I am college educated, and have no job, and basically NO friends, so I have no one i can talk to about this, I did see a counselor in the begining, cause I actually thought I was losing my mind. I feel when I can find work, which is so terribly hard to find right now, I may get a part of my self esteem back, and more options may open up to me. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
