ce ce posted her story and first post on Appleman's thread and I was afraid it would get lost over there. cece, hope you don't mind, but you will get much more individual attention this way. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Welcome to the forum.

Here's her story:

i too just found out about the infidelity of my husband a few days ago... i talked with the girl and she was kind enough to answer all my questions. she says that their relationship didn't last for over a month because she felt that it was wrong for the relationship to continue... because she knew he was married. they have been very good friends ever since and swears to God that they have stopped being lovers for a long time.

i've been suspecting that something was going on with the two of them and often fought with my husband with it because he says that i don't trust him that well for me to think of that.

after i met with the lover, i talked with my husband regarding this but he was denying the fact that a relationship happened. he still stands firm that they were just very good friends and it was wrong for me to put any malice. he was shouting at me and cursing me in front of my parents and our children and i couldn't take it anymore. i was hurt and he was adding to the hurt i was feeling instead of consoling me so i threw him out of the house.

it may have been a year since their A was over but i just found out and it hurt like hell. throwing him out of our house felt very right at that time but now i feel so empty and at a loss because my life has revolved around him for 6 years and my children love him very much. he has not tried to talk to me and reconcile because he doesn't think he has done anything wrong to me.

i want him back but i want him to feel that i was hurt. i know a lot of people know how i'm feeling right now and there are people here who reconciled with their cheating spouses. but how long did it take for you to accept your spouse back? i hope someone can answer asap. thanks for your time.

Your H is involved in an affair. If she is telling the truth, it is an Emotinal Affair now, not a physical affair, but it is an affair, just the same, as you seem to understand, since you threw him out of the house. However, knowing that does not really help you, because he is not being honest, and it sounds like if he admitted the physical part of the affair int he past, he would still say she is "just a good friend". Even in the unlikely event that he is being honest, and she is lying, not him, he is still involved in an EA. MB does have a way to deal with affairs, physical or emotional, and that is detailed in the link in my signature line.

What is he wiling to do to help you get through this. Marriage counseling? reading books? IF he will read a book with you, "Not Just Friends", by Shirley Glass is a good one, and Survivng an Affair" by Harley is good, too. I think YOU should read SAA whether or not he agrees to read it with you. I think you will understand why after you read it.