I posted earlier, but still have a few, actually a lot of questions that I need answers to. First of all my wife moved in with om 2 weeks ago. I haven't talked to her much since then. She has come over to be with our girls while I was at work. I told her I didn't want her to come over when I'm home. Anyway, she's been telling my girls that I've been a good father but she doesn't love me and hasn't for a long time. I read that the ws usually says a lot of things they don't mean, but I was wondering if anyone has gotten back with their spouse when they said they didn't love them anymore? If she had said other things that were untrue, I wouldn't believe her, but everything else she has been truthful about... Does she still have feelings for me or not?

I'm beginning to be able to get through a day without falling apart, actually, today was the first. I'll think about her sometimes and I either get very angry or very sad. About how long will these feelings go on for? I try very hard to be upbeat, and try to read and understand all this but I'm still having a hard time.

Does anyone have an average amount of time that an affair goes on for before the ws starts to feel things aren't right? I know she will start to miss our girls, they have been her life for the last 16 years. I'm wondering also if she will become vindictive and try to kick me out of the house so she can be with our girls. I still love her and I am trying to get things better in my life, but I'm not sure if I should expect her to ever be a part of it anymore. Am I wasting my time waiting for her?

This board has helped alot since I first started reading it. Some days I feel I will eventually have her back but others, I just don't know...

Whatever you do please do not leave your home. It would be absolutely the worst thing you could do. I would strongly suggest that you contact an attorney to understand your rights and make it clear that your wife has left your home and family to move in with the OM. Again do not even consider moving out of your home. I wish you luck.

There is hope. I beleive that love still exists but all you can do now is wait for their breakup.

I've been reading His Needs/Her Needs and just started reading Surviving an Affair. It has helped. (Just got it Monday). I would recommend it for you. My W and I have been that way for years. Neither one of us knowing how to show each other affection, and lack of communication. She has felt for years that I didn't care, and I have felt the same. We are now working on our marraige.

Keep hoping, praying, and loving. Their days are numbered.

LWH:

Yes, the WS is prone to saying things like that. Read the material on this site, particularly the things about Plan A.

A good book to order is Surviving an Affair by Dr. Harley. You can order it by clicking on the Bookstore tab at the top of the page.

Just realize that there is hope. It isn't over until it is over. And that is on your terms, usually, not hers. (Believe it or not.)

It is late and my brain is mushy, so I will post in the morning when I have a clear head and a gallon of coffee.

Godspeed,
STL