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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 39
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 39 |
Thanks for all of your responces. I went to my first night of therapy with my wife, and was very disapointed.
My wife has a 6 mos affair 5 or 6 years ago and then repeats it this year and I get beat up for working too hard in my business? The first affair happened when I was very busy with my family business. Not too busy to give my family all of my free time... but busy. My wife compained that we didn't go on vacation and didn't spen enough time with her and that I didn't make enough money. I spent my off hours (and lots of money) renovating our home to her specification. I had no money left to do things with her. So she had a realtionship with her boss?
The second time was durring a recent bad time for my business. Money was not coming in. I blame my self for the second affair (with the same creep) because I should have left my buisness. Leaving the business is tough for me it is the only thing I know.
I recently closed my former company moved, downsized (several family memebers left) and have found a new niche and a better customer base, but she feels it's still the same old business. Our therapist gave me 6 mos to get it to work!
She had the affairs and I'm the bad guy? I need help it still hurts.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 758
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 758 |
Hi, You are not the "bad guy" necessarily, it is just that the issue in your M that needs some help has been identified. Your W is still responsible for her own actions. No one made her have an affair. But if you are wanting to rebuild your m and stay married to her, I'd suggest that you take a look at that issue. It sounds important! Just my 2 cents <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Roberta
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,166
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,166 |
The affairs were 100% her fault. The state of the marriage was and is 100% BOTH of your faults. But, if your actions were used to justify an affair, you better listen - NOT because they justify her having an affair and make it "your fault" - but because they tell you what is/was wrong with your marriage from her perspective. If your therapist is REALLY blaming you, then you should find another. Did you ask him or her the questions suggested in How To Find A Good Marriage Counselor and Hazardous Counseling?
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