I found out the other day that my wife had been intimate with another man........I made her leave the house...and figured that I would go on with my life and raise my girls on my own.;
for some reason,, things are just hitting me very hard today and it is very painful.... I am focusing on the Serenity Prayer as an anchor to help me through today..........I feel that there is so much that we neglected to do over the years that could have made our marriage better...........we hurt each other when we could have helped ... all of the things I see that we could have done with just a little more love, and less conflict .. and it is just breaking my heart

First I am sorry you are going through this. You have found a wonderful place to learn and talk to others about the pain you are experiencing. Read what you can here. There is a lot of good information on this site. If you haven't already pick up a copy fo Surviving an affair by Harley....it will help.

It sounds like you might have calmed down a bit since discovering the A(affair). If possible, could you give a little more information about your situation. How long have you been married? How old are your daughters? (i have a 6 year old daughter myself). Did your wife tell you or did you discover for yourself. I know it is hard but you have two daughters who are counting on you. The need you and they need their mother.

I know that staying married almost seems impossible right now but it is very possible. One thing that really helped me is talking to my pastor and therapist. If you haven't it might really help you a lot.

God Bless

<small>[ July 30, 2003, 12:29 PM: Message edited by: d_rose ]</small>

I am in a similar situation with one 3 year old daughter. I have found this site very helpful with dealing with the pain. The best advice that I can give at this moment is to pray, and pray often. It is the only thing that brings peace to my heart. Take it one day at a time. Do not rush into anything. Try to hold back your anger. You be the better person in all of this. You will be thankful for it later. Your daughters may thank you as well.

May God bless you during this painful time.

My daughters are 16 and 17. My wife and I seperated last winter... I asked her to leave because she had several instances of staying out all night and now informing anyone of her whereabouts; sometimes for days at a time... she drinks a lot and is heavily into smoking pot. I get frustrated because she refuses to get a job, and in order for us to get by, I have either been working 2 jobs or lots of overtime. How I discovered the affair was by snooping into her e-mail,,, and although I feel a little guilty about such tactics.. I feel that the ends justified the means, as I was very suspicious, and that turned out to be right. I would never have gone into her e-mail if I had no suspicions. One e-mail was a correspondence between her and another man about a night they had been together - she came home that night about 3:30, got into bed with me, asked me to hold her, kissed me and told me she loved me, all the while lying about where she had been.. - when I found out,, I was so deeply hurt. I have made her leave the house, and changed the locks - as well as telling her no more money from me... severe perhaps, but I feel that what she did to me is far worse, and that the crime far outweighs the punishment.

It sounds like you know what you are doing. You have two teenage children and your wife stayed out all nights, had an affair, and was into drinking and pot. You need to protect them.
You are wise to cut off the financial support.
No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. Hopefully she will see the light now. I wish you luck.