Hello I'm new to this site. I just found out that my husband of 5 years ( we've been together 8)has been having an affair with his pregnant co-worker. We have a 10 month old beautiful daughter. when I first found out thanks to the cell phone bill, he didn't try to deny it but he did cry and say he didnt know how he could let this happen he said he would quit his job break it off with her and that he would do whatever it took to make our marriage work. Then he goes back to work and hes not so sure what he wants. I know he loves her or the thought of being with her. I Have to admit we have been having financial problems and our sex life has changed since the baby. but I never thought he would do this. He was such a great husband. The worst part is that he has thought about leaving us for her. and I can tell he still wants to be with her.I know that he thinks they can make a better life together, but I dont believe that. She is gonna have her baby soon and she has another child, and we all know that that infatuation with each other wears off. I keep telling myself that if he does leave he will see that they are not gonna be happy together how will they trust each other. Anyways I told him that he hasnt given us a fair chance to work things out because he is still holding on to the ideal of being with her. He said he is going to let work know that next week will be his last week and that he will really try to work things out between us. But I dont know if I can deal with the fact that this was such a hard decision for him. I love him very much and I have forgiven him with Gods help. I cant help but to think that maybe he should just leave so he can find out himself that it is not going to be as good as he thinks it is. The only thing that gets me through is that I know I am a better Woman because I have morals and would never come between someones marriage, I have been a good wife and mother. (and am better looking)haha anyways hope someone has some advice.

Is this OW married? He didn't care that she had another child and was pregnant with someone else's child? Yuk!

But as we all know the WS's enter a THICK FOG!

Read everything on this sight and Surviving an Affair. Y'all need to get into counseling too.

Have you spoken to the OW?

Have you asked your H if he is really ready to give you and HIS daughter up for this OW w/2 kids that are not his?

Be prepared because sometimes it takes a while for the fog to lift. My H's A had ended when I found out so I can't help you much.

There are others here who will have really good advice for you -- keep checking back.

Well the OW is going through a divorce.
I asked my husband if that is what he wanted and his reply was I dont know right now. how is that suppose to make me feel. I honestly don't think that he is thinking logically. I think He is thinking about the good times he has had with her and thats what makes him think that she will make him happier. To tell you the truth I think that if he was to leave he would eventully come back once he sees its not as great as he has made out in his head. If he thinks its hard with one child how is it gonna be any easier with 2 that are not even his.

Click on the link in my signture line.

sooalone,

Listen to John39. Get the book "Surviving an Affair." It will help you understand what is happening...

Stay strong...

Jake.

I am sorry you are in so much pain.

Is it possible that you can take a moment and think of yourself being the one in control. Do you want to be married to someone who is uncertain as to whether or not he wants to be married to you? Don't give him that control. Instead, let him know that you need some time. You need some time to absorb what has happened and to think about who it is you want to share your life with.

Just some thoughts. I wish you the best,
Lillian

Read the Plan A and Plan B stuff -- you need to start working on knocking him off the fence he's sitting on... OW should too!

This sounds like the woman I had the affair with in McAllen. She was also going through a divorce (for the past 3 years) with her 2nd husband and she also was involved with at least two other sexual partners at work.

I know I am to blame for the mess that I created and the one that I am in, I do know that looking back at the entire affair was selfish, horrible and just plain stupid. But I also realize that the woman I had the affair with was a monster and a fake. She continues to have affair with married men at work and even after my wife spoke to her on the phone, had no remorse. In fact, her sister does the same thing. Affairs are the norm in McAllen, Texas.

With that said, I want you to know that the worst has not hit you yet. Shock comes first. Then hurt. Then hatred. Divorce has come up a number of times. We are still hanging by a thread.

You will never get over this in just a few weeks/months. It's a process.

My wife is still in greiving. Lot's of hugs and long talks helps.

Good luck