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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 8
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 8 |
Wife had an affair and has moved out.... started to write this letter to her...am devastated-
Dear ..... I feel badly that I became so angry at you..........please understand how hurt I was...and now that things have really set in................I wanted so badly for this marriage to work.. I have given so much of my life to it...to you, to the girls....; my heart has been ripped from me and I feel now as if my only desire in life right now is to die. There has always been so much love in me for you, but at the same time, so many obstacles to it's true fullfillment -anger, resentment, selfishness.....I tried to find an ideal sacred love to share with you, and have failed miserably.., you were a gift sent to me from God and I just did not have the inner strength to make it work.....all of my hopes, all of my dreams, all that I had found holy and joyful has died.. because I just could not give enough to nourish ;.I don't want to live another day........I don't want to see another sunrise, or another tree or bird...life holds no pleasure for me now
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,398
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,398 |
I to have felt like this.......like there was nothing to go on for. My marriage did not make it, but in time the ski clears and all gets better. You will grieve for awhile.....trust me, I know. But, remember things do get better. I myself am remarried and happier than ever, all this after I felt like I could not go on. Hang in there.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,166
Member
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Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,166 |
Click on the link in my signature line. Her leaving does not have to mean the end of your marriage. Your feelings will betray you here. You have to use your head.
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 627
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 627 |
ted, while the sentiments discussed in your letter are beautiful, if you want to save your marriage I wouldn't send it!
this is not the time to be mushy or to make yourself appear to be seeking pity; rather this is the time to project to your WW, the image of a strong, independant man who would like to preserve his marriage if possible.
i would send a letter saying something to the effect that you still love her and want to understand what's happening and why it's happening. further that no matter what she has done or not done, there is nothing that can't be discussed and worked out if only she would just trust you and want to try. then say something that leaves the door open and try to wait for her to contact you.
remember..NO begging, pleading or crying! just the projection an image of a calm, solid man in contriol of his emotions. a man willing to listen, help and who cares.
good luck. coach
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 8
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 8 |
Thank you, Coach, and all, for your kind and wise suggestions... I guess that I got a little overly emotional. It is encouraging to have such positive and beneficial support in unlooked for places
Ted
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