hmm, at the end of march i met a W on the internet with whom i have fallen madly in love with. we have yet to meet, neither of us feel that an affair is the right thing to do. my H has never made me feel like this W does, and i so want to see if we could have a life together. my H is 20 years older than me, and i feel so distant from him, i think i have almost always felt that. since i've met this W i have found out that life just doesn't have to be like that. i want so badly to leave my H, but i don't like to hurt anyone. just the thought of hurting someone about kills me. but i'm hurting, and now i feel like i'm missing out on so much of life. like companionship should be a whole lot more fulfilling. by the way i am 30, and have been married for almost 8 years. he is 51. we have no children. i need help, i just don't know what to do.

so, what hurts your H worse: you being emotionally involved with someone else, and breaking all your vows to him, or being honest with him and telling him how unhappy you have been in your marriage and leaving?

You may be hurting now, but I absolutely guarantee he will be hurting MUCH worse than you could ever imagine. I believe especially if you leave him for another woman. And I’m not being judgemental about it.<P>Before you get involved with this person anymore, tell your H how you are feeling. I mean really what your thoughts are. Don’t try to downplay the importance of it. If you have any relationship, he will react positively.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

just wanted some more advice. so i'm bringing this up again.

Be VERY careful of this internet thing. My H met a woman in a class in England in May, they have been corresponding via the internet since, had a reunion in Boston on July and she's now in Mpls with her kid to see if they can make it work. I managed to find and read all the emails between the two. Its pure fantasy. How can you know you're in love with someone until you spend time with them - in their face, good and bad - not simply writing letters to each other. Of course its attractive - there is none of the daily grind to deal with. In one email, my H actually offered to fly to England to help her with her lawnmower. He doesn't even know how to start ours!