Didn't just find out about the A. However, I stumbled onto a very explicit home movie of him and this woman in every position imaginable. On top of that, found out that he had gotten this woman pregnant (terminate).
All of this after just agreeing to work on our marriage. As if the images in my head weren't bad enough, now I've seen them in COLOR with COMMENTARY! Nothing like hearing your husband tell someone else how much he "loves them".

How do I get these hateful images out of my head and try to take back what was stolen from me!?

Oh, man, I can't touch this one. I'm having a hard enough time with reading the e-mails.

How can the WS's be so STUPID to leave this stuff around?

Hopefully, you can get some good advice!

Not only was he stupid enough to leave it around...he was stupid enough to record our son's 4th Birthday party, right behind it. That's how I found it...looking for my son's party to show family, and I backed up to far.

Boy, talk about a thick fog going on here. On the same tape as sons b-day party.

I'm sorry for the pain you are experiencing. I personally don't know what it is like to see the A. I know there are other here who have experienced walking in, stuff like that.

I'm sorry you had to see that tape. What did WS say about it?

beach,

I'm going to challenge your thinking a little bit. Most of the time, us BS's have only our imagination to fill in the blanks. My H had is last A in a Thai brothel known for catering to any man's basest desires. I've had some pretty nasty pictures to go along with that, in my mind. Frankly, I can't imagine being able to acutually "see" that....BUT, and here's the challenge....believe it or not (and this may be really stupid), I almost WISH I could see. Why? Because for most of us.....not really knowing is so awful....not really believing the accounting of it. Your H can't lie about a dog gone thing....nada...you know it all and have seen it all. I don't wish that on anybody. I'm so sorry it happened to you, but in a sick way.....I envy your knowledge if you can understand that. I doubt the process of getting past these pictures is all that different either way. I never thought I would....but I actually have. I haven't forgotten....but they cease to have the power they once did. Oh every now and then....something triggers a vision, memory, fear anger....but for the most part....I have compartimentalized them. I am so sorry this happened to you. WS's are so stupid. I found out from a credit card receipt to "madame dong's escort service" wtf????? How stupid is that?????

Again, this is an A while we've been seperated for the past yr. Not that it makes much difference, it's still not a pretty picture to see the person you love, shower affections on someone else.

I'm not so sure that I really visualize much about the "act" before. Or at least, by now I've blocked the images that I did have, out of self defense! To me I was more hurt about the lies and the time he was spending with someone else, instead of our family.

Now, I can't get the "scene" out of my head...even though we've been seperated, pending divorce or reconcilliation or whatever...

Does anyone ever get to a good point and decide to make it work, only to change their mind the next day because of something that brought back the Gremlins? I'm so ambivelent about everything...continously walking a fence on what to do!

Sue,
WS of course was "stunned" that I saw it and has been remorseful about it. He wants our family back...bad. I believe he is a Sex addict or at the very least extremely insecure and needs to have his ego stroked at all times. This isn't the first time or even the third time.
I filed for uncontested D, but he's managed to string it out over the past year, talking about how wrong it is for us too divorce cause we're such good friends.

beachick,
I had an audio tape of my w and OM. It was just her side of the conversation, but it was bad. I am having one hell of a time getting iy out of my head, and she is only a walking and talking reminder of her infidelity. If you find a way to get it out of your head let me know!

fff,
I'm so sorry to hear... I've got one of those too! He said he was going out of town on business, then I find a key chain recorder with a list of "Drink beer, smoke cigars and F*** "OW". That was the 2nd "eye opener. I was hoping someone had found a good way to get rid of these, short of getting rid of the WS.
Sounds easier to get rid of WS, than to keep being reminded of the pain every time I see him.
Counselor calls it "Post Tramatic Stress Disorder" and wants to try a "technique" similar to hypnosis...?

I had over 500 pages of yahooIM history my wife printed out to save. I went through most of it on D-Day. Its hard and the stuff I've read is still there. I haven't tried to think of it but its there. D*** shark was proud of what he did.

She's still in the fog. I don't think she remembers everything she typed. I saw mostly sex.

There is hope. It will take both of you to work on it.

Good Luck and God Bless