Well, I'm a normally suspicious person and glad I am. I have all the passwords to my husbands email accounts of which he has several. We (I thought) were totally honest with each other. Well, I checked in on his email one day and found a screen name and password to an adult swingers website. I logged on under his name and password and come to find out he put a personal on there for a discreet relationship with a couple, gay, lesbian or anybody basically who was up for it.

I almost died. My whole life has shattered. I thought this man worshipped me. I confronted him and he said that he has thought about sex with a man but if it came down to it he would never do it. I know I turn him on...he's constantly trying to get in my pants. Should I forgive him? He says the worst thing that could happen in his life is to lose me and that is definitely the worst thing that could happen to me but I just want to die. I just need some advice. He hasn't gone through with anything that I know of. I think maybe he was just curious. HELP! If there's one thing I WONT stand for is infidelity. I'll be gone in a flash if I find out he cheats.

Any advice would be great everyone!
Thanks so much.
depressedone

So sorry you are here dealing with this. Keep investegating. If he had the ad out, odds are something has happened. When we the hurt partner find something it is usually the tip of the iceberg. Ask for a lie dector test. If he refuses... well... you know. You deserve full disclousure. Find a good marriage councelor and ideally both of you should go. Also talk to your doctor. Can you forgive him? Only you can answer that. I am willing to forgive my wife if she recommits to the marriage, continues to see the councelor and breaks all contact with the other man. She is having problems living up to her end though, but thats a different story... Mistakes happen and people screw up. They get lost in the allure of another person. It is usually not personal towards us. It just feels that way. Good luck and listen to the others who have been around longer than me. Just remember no matter how bad it gets or how out of control you feel, You are not going crazy. You are reacting how all of us react. But you will get help and figure out what is best for you.
bob