It's been six weeks since I found out that he had sex with his ex. They have kids together so it's not like he can end contact. The kids now live with us, so there will be more contact than there was. How do I cope? I try talking to him and we wind up with me comforting him instead of the other way around. I am so hurt and so angry still. How long will I feel this way?

Forever, if he keeps in contact with his ex. They need a go-between (which can be you or someone else, but someone else is probably best). Other than that, click on the link in my signature line for more info on how to recover.

How can I demand that of him? It's a great idea and I think I would feel much better if I knew he wasn't having any contact with her. We have told no one in the family about this. None of our friends know. He says it hasn't happened for almost a year, but he also admits the first time was right after he moved in with me. He sort of shut down after the last "reported" time with her and shut me out. Then, around the first of the year, he lost his job in a big layoff at his company. He shut down totally then. That led to my having an EA. I work in the same building with the OM, but we no longer have contact. We work in very different areas. H found out about my EA before I found out about him and the ex. He didn't admit to me until 3 weeks later and even then wouldn't have said anything if the ex hadn't been threating him with the information in relation to a child custody thing. He said he'd rather I heard it from him than from her in court. I am just having a really hard time getting past this. He was really hard on me about my EA, rightfully so, I was wrong. No doubt about it. But he kept asking me how I would feel if he was talking to someone he worked with as much as I talked to the OM, all the while knowing he had had sex with his ex, both after we moved in and after we got married. I'm stuck here. I really need help to get past it.