I have started my plan b letter. I will post here later, but in the meantime any suggestions? I guess this is what I will give him for Christmas.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

SDS -- I'm so sorry for the pain you are dealing with. This should be a time of love and joy for all of us, but to have to endure this pain . . .<P>You are in my thoughts and prayers.<P>God Bless

Sorry, no suggestions. Just know that my thoughts are with you and I am praying for both of us to get what we really want for Christmas!! That's a tall order for Santa, but I have faith in him.

<BR>I started to write his plan b letter but this came out instead. I feel better, but too bad I can't send it.<P><BR>Dear Jim,<P>I am not asking you back nor will I as long as Jackie is around. I do not understand why you thought it was necessary to write that letter. <P>Yes I do love you and always will, but I am not putting my life on hold for you, or anyone. I do not understand where you got that idea. True I haven’t found a full time job yet, but I have many leads on jobs, but this has been put on hold due to holidays and the Y2K fear. <P>The offer on the house was just that an offer since you were paying half the payment, if Jackie wants to pay my half you too she can live there. I just felt guilty about the car, plus having to ask permission all the time to visit your family must be rough. Just thought I would help but that is fine with me I really don’t have the money anyway.<P>What I don’t understand is your wanting to come to Patrick’s appointment. You haven’t been here for him during his recovery and now you want to show up and act the concern parent? Plus you know that I have to been there. So what is your real reason? You have seen Patrick at your parents and will probably see him the 26th. I feel like you are just trying to check me out. <P>When you walked out the door and said you were never coming back I no longer was any of your concern. You are the one who has to let go of someone and I don’t think you have yet made that decision as to whom. You are still trying to keep tabs on me. <BR>I don’t know what you are thinking; to put Patrick and me is such an uncomfortable position. Please explain your rationale for doing this to your son. <P>As far as the divorce is concern it won’t be as easy as you think. I can make threats also seems to me there is also a civil suit called alienation of affection. And I have proof of that and that is filed against Jackie. So don’t threaten me anymore. <P>You are a very sick person, this is an addiction and I guess you will just have to hit bottom before you realize. You have made your parent ill over this, you have lost your sister, your daughter no longer respect you, your son was beginning to trust you, your grandson thinks you have blown away are lost forever. <P>You are in a nowhere job going nowhere. You are working at least two jobs that are below you. You have sunken to a low that you may never climb out of. For what? A woman with a history of f***ing any man that comes around and is nice to her.<P>Maybe you both deserve each other. But do not play around with me anymore. I will never open another letter that has been addressed by the b***h. It certainly wasn’t your hand that addressed the envelope. <BR>You know I am not sure that I would want a man with no moral and no self esteem. I guess you two belong together. All I know is that the man I fell in love with and married and had children with and loved for all those years.is not you. I don’t know where he went. He had morals, faith, never lied was trustworthy and respected himself and his family. You are not that person when you decide that you can be that person the I will decide if I take you back until then you and your f***ing wh**e have a good time and don’t get caught I don’t think you would like being a daddy at 50.<P>Your loving wife<BR>Diana<P>What do you think. A good vent anyway.<BR><P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Hey SDS,<P>When I went into Plan B for a few hours I used the same letter in SAA with a few personalizations.<P>I would be more than happy to Email it to you if you are really ready to do this. You can bring it up in works and customize it to your situation.<P>Let me know. Moose7771@AOL.COM<BR><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

I thought this was a good letter LOL. But I got to tell you it sure helped me to write it. I did this a lot the first few weeks after he left. I would write down everthing I want to tell him then tear it up. It did help!! <P>Medic I just emailed you yes I would like your copy, thank you.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Hi, Di. Sorry I don't have any advice, but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you.<P>I'm glad that letter made you feel better. Sometimes we need to get it out.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{Di}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Lori

Hi di,<P>Wow... your"vent...Plan B" letter is just that... a good vent... and leave it as a vent! <P>You know... the real Plan B letter shouldn't have any love busters in it... the sample ones listed below are more inline with the Harley concept of a pre-Plan B letter... <P>Also take a look a Medics sample... (the one close to the "book" version...)<P>---------------------------------<P>Hope you got my last e-mail last night... <P>Here are some posts given by other's with sample Plan B letters...<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/009414.html" TARGET=_blank>Sample Plan B letter (see Chris' reply)</A><BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/010065.html" TARGET=_blank>Sample Plan B letter (from PLEASE HELP)</A><BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/010844.html" TARGET=_blank>Sample Plan B letter (from Rutger)</A><BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/010474.html" TARGET=_blank>Sample hybrid-Plan B letter (from izzy)</A><P>I hope these will help you too... <BR>I be drafting my Plan B letter too... after the first of the year... looking to deliver it late in January... <P>Prayers...<P>Jim<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited December 19, 1999).]

Jim, <BR>Yes I got your emails last night. I thought I sent you one back. Thanks. This is what came out as I was writing. Thought it iwas a good idea to let it out before I got down the nitty gritty of writing the real thing, Thanks for the others<BR><P>------------------<BR>di<P>

HI SDS,<BR> WOW what a letter! AH, send it only kidding!! <BR> I hope your anger will subside for you soon. You are in my prayers. FRANK<P>(JIM) I'm honored that you listed my Plan "B" letter (I haven't sent it yet) It made me feel good that you listed it because I respect you. FRANK

Frank I am doing better, but I have tried writing in more letters to my H yet. It was like once I got started everything just came out. My fingers had a mind of their own on the key board. Thanks<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

SDS, Keep writing the letters but DON'T send 'em. It feels good to get it all out. Even better than putting it up here. Something about the actual writing of the words. I haven't written in my journal in quite a while, but when I was doing it, it felt good.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Way to go, Diana! Let it all out. But, you're right, you can't send it. The Plan B letter will no doubt be the hardest one you'll ever write. I'd be glad to help you over New Years. Then again, after all that bubbly, better not!!

Just got back from seeing my career consultant, have a very shor time before I leave for work. But I had a thought drive home, I am feeling so overwhelmed but I wonder how much of it is H and how much of it is the circumstances...not having a job and living with daughter. I wonder how I would feel toward H if I had a job and my own place. I wonder if part of wanting him is that I would feel safe or that something in my life would be "normal" again. I mean I still love him but I know it would be probably easier to deal with if I felt more secure in my life. Would it be easier to write that plan b letter? I wonder if my pain , tears, and anger this time is more from frustration of my situation then at the letter he wrote me. I mean there wasn't anything new in the letter that he hasn't already said. In fact I handled it better the first time then I did this weekend. Of course coming after he has made plans to come to S doc. appt. I guess got my hopes up more then I wanted to admit. I still don't understand his reasoning behind that. Guess I will find out tomorrow. GOt to go to work. Will get on later.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>