After reading many posts over the last month I have realized just how sad I have become over the many of you that have your in laws and family of your spouses support. My MIL and my H family have shunned me and it was him that had the affair. I had only hoped that one of them would see through his lies and try to set him straight. But they back him 100% in all his efforts to destroy me because "I" drove him into another womans arms. I remember him telling me that he had to talk to her because he thought I would get mad at him if he told me that something was lacking in our marriage. God I wish that I could have just been mad. Now through all of this...the betrayal...the deciet....the pain.....the hurt....the suicide attempt...the horrible words....the cut downs.....the abandonment.......the saddness......the weight loss.....the lost feeling.....the feeling that I can't go on....being mad about him saying that to me sounds real good right now. Sorry all.....I'm just feeling a little down and sorry for myself. Thanks for listening.<BR>Nancy <P>------------------<BR>

((((((((((Mental)))))))))))<P>I am so sorry you are being treated that way......sometimes, the family of the betrayer probably feels that this is the only way to keep him 'in the family', so to speak, or voice their dissapproval, and lose contact.....<P>I really don't know....my MIL passed away 3 years ago.....thank goodness for my H, because she would have tanned his hide....my FIL is not really around...and I have not told my parents.....I do not need the lectures I know will come.....so, floating around alone through all this except for this place..I know .....the pain from the family, I don't know about..in a way, knowing this is how they act, then maybe its a blessing you don't have to interact with these people.....if this is their character...<P>I am sending you hugs to make you feel better.......it doesn't seem enough though...<P>Dylan<BR>

Dylan,<BR>I know what you mean on one thing. His dad died 7 years ago. I can tell you, if he was still alive he would have gave him a good brow beating. His mom said to me...get over it Nancy...you'll find someone else and then everyone will be happy. So encouraging. She also told me that she really can't stand my kids (his too) because they are brats and very rude. Nice Grandma huh?

Hi there, <P>I just had to post. My MIL tried to be supportive of everything that I was going through when her oldest, golden son cheated on the family but this was a sample of her attitude:<P>1. Italian men have been cheating on their wives for ages. It has only been since they have been in America that anyone minded.<P>2. I shouldn't be mad at my husband, but I should blame the OW completely for the affair.<P>3. Men are little boys (deep down) and like to have their toys.<P>By the way, this would NOT of happened had my FIL been alive.<P>3.

Gosh Wafflestoo.....<BR>Isn't that a sad reaction. If I was my H mother I would be so embarrassed of my sons actions. She could still support him in the decision to leave but I feel that she should be understanding to me and the girls.

MENTAL -- I can understand your feeling of jealousy. I too have felt panges of jealousy when others tell of their supportive IL's. My IL's were the main reason my W left me. They did everything in their power to drive my W away from me.<P>. . . I understand.<P>God Bless

Well, good or bad, but my MIL and FIL don't even know. My h has decided not to tell them, and it is certainly not my place. In fact, we have told only two or three people. I think that is why it has helped me to keep coming to this forum, because I have not had help from those closest to me. And my family, I won't even bother telling them. What for? We are in recovery and things are going well.<P>So, I am thankful for all of you I have posted with, and many other threads I have read.