<<<Dammit - my husband is in love with another woman and he said he loves her. If his love for me is so much stronger, who the hell needs it? Who NEEDS a man who loves me but can go out and do this?>>>

Neversuspected, this is not a matter of which one of you he "loves" more. What he really loves is having more than one woman. Do you see this?

He was happy to marry you and keep you at home, having all the comforts of marriage and family when he wanted them, while still keeping his girlfriend on the side and having all the fun of being single and dating.

He set it up this way because that's what he really wanted. There are many men who do this -- if you've been reading this board for a while, you've seen it.

He doesn't really love you. He doesn't really love her. What he loves is having two women to have sex with and get attention from, and he's going to do everything he can to justify this arrangement and keep it going. Do not be surprised at anything he says or does in this regard.

Unless you can see a fundamental change in his attitude -- unless he can SHOW you that what he truly wants is a real marriage to just one woman (you,) be prepared to battle this forever.

He is not going to change. He will do this as long as you, and other women, are prepared to let him do it.

I wish I could be more encouraging, but I did want to let you know that you should not be beating yourself up over which one of you he "loves" more or how he could do this if he "loves" you. Love has nothing to do with this, except his own selfish love for himself and his own selfish desire to have a harem instead of a marriage.