I just filled out the Love Buster Questionaire on my H. Now holds barred. Now what do I do with it. I alreay threw away one copy because I had literally broken several pencils while filling it out and then had written her name all over it.<P>Do we share our answers? It probably won't be anything he doesn't already know, but it will bring on another several days of his anger.<P>Why can't he just respond to me with something besides anger and the attitude that things will get better if I just increase my medicaton.<P>Sometimes I fear that my antidepressants are just making me more willing to leave. They are taking away the fear of failure and the unknown. They are helping me deal with all the false guilt that I have been subjecting myself to. But I have been spending a lot more time angry lately.

Essyboo<P>Then the anger is there. It's valid. And face it, it's justified. But you've got to find a way to work it out, work through it and see what's on the other side. 'Cause anger keeps us from thinking straight too.<P>Filling out the questionaire honestly as many times as you need to is probably NOT a bad idea.<P>How long have you been on the medication? You've got some adjusting to do (physically) with that too and sometimes it takes a few weeks. <P>Wish he wouldn't get angry all the time though. Sure as heck makes it hard to get anywhere.<P>Hang in there. Hey, just yell some more here, we're listening. Or once I tried to beat up a tree - wouldn't recommend it though. Pick something softer.<P>Hang in there, ok?<P>Lori

I have been on for 2 weeks. I just upped the dose to "maximum power" "I'm giving her all she's got Capt'n."<P>I go to see the doctor tomorrow.<P>I had a terrible nightmare lastnight. I dreamed I was chasing my dog around the parking garage at work, because she was being attacked by killer peacock's. Everytime I caught her and picked her up she turned into a kitten. Then it started raining (yes, in the parking garage) and I realized all my antidepressants got wet.<P>Pretty wierd, huh?<p>[This message has been edited by Essyboo (edited December 20, 1999).]

I too am feeling angry all the time. I too am feeling like I initially tried to take too much of the blame,probably because I subconsciously felt I could control things better if I was really responsible to some great degree. Now I see it was less and less my fault. I also sometimes feel like it would be easier if I just told him to get lost. Yes, he is sorry ,is home and is doing many,many things to make it better,but somehow it's just not enough. I am starting to realize that for my forgiveness to mean something their has to be attempts at reconciliation,actually things he's doing specifically to try to make up for the hurt I feel. I guess I need to hear him say he is sorry a hundred different times in a hundred different ways. He wants to forget that which he is ashamed of. It's easier for him than it is for me and I am angry too!

I too need for him to ask for my forgiveness or show his remorse some how. He doesn't show emotion to me at all except anger.<P>I feel that he is willing to do things as long as it is not overly inconvenient or uncomfortable for him. If he starts feeling uncomfortable, then he is unwilling.<P>This bothers me because I did some so many things that I really didn't feel like doing including dealing with the other woman to get her to leave us alone. I wasn't the list bit comfortable, but did it anyway because I knew he wouldn't.

Essyboo;<P>In anger too. All of what you are feeling is the same here. Why do they(betrayer)act like this? I don't know. Hard heads? Perhaps.<P>Try to direct the negative to something contructive for you. Not easy, but if you let <BR>fester inside you will get sick. Release it<BR>like you are doing here. At least you are getting it out and that always helps.<P>Lostva, A TREE?! Goodness, couldn't you have found something softer. Bet your knuckles are soar. <P>mthrrhbard;<P>Know how you feel there about just telling him to get the F*&@! OUT. Sorry, my embellishment there. Some days like today it just seems it would be easier. But I do love him and at times like now I wish I didn't.<P>An yeah, I felt responisble, and guess do sometimes because I still cannot understand why he did this to us. Was I not enough? <BR>Anyway, it is natural to feel anger. Repairing a marriage is not easy as I am finding out with the rest of you. And I do wish H wouldn't get angry at me. I didn't cause this. But I guess the guilt is eating at them so we get to receive the fire from their inability to handle their feelings.<P>Not fair is it. I think woman should rule the world. I think we are more equipped to handle problems and work through them better.<BR>Sorry, don't mean to bash any men here on MB<BR>forum. You guys are definately the exception to the rule. If all men were like you guys there wouldn't be this ANGER.<P>If I have said anything out of line please excuse me because I think I am having some sort of break down.

If there were no men, we women would probably be well fed, completely unconcerned about the size of our breasts, have clean houses and be very happy, (well maybe not happy, but probably well fed.)