I've been reading up today on other threads, but couldn't decide to post. Yes, we had a wonderful week! The best part was the time we spent without the kids. This seems the best option to me for couples with small children who can't leave them. We fed them, and spent some time with them, but mostly they were in kid activities while we were alone.<P>We juggled things so that most nights we had dinner alone. I was watching a family at the next table. The lady was with her h, her in-laws and small son. Every time I saw them, it was all of them; on deck, at the beach in port. Until we started recovery 6 weeks ago, that was us. We were never alone!! We thought spending time together for our own pleasure was a luxury. How hard to learn it is essential to a relationship; that no matter how good we both were at living out our comittment, it isn't enough if we don't cultivate our in-loveness.<P>

Two words:<P>I'm jealous<P>Actually a contraction and another word, which is actually kinda sorta three words since "I'm" is really "I am" and then there's the third word "jealous" so, really truly all I can say is I'm jealous.<P>I'm also happy for you!

Me too!!<P>But I'm glad you guys enjoyed yourself.<P>Welcome home.<P>Lori

You lucky, lucky person you!!!<P>I think that "making time" without the kids is one of the most important things that we have learned from Dr. Harley and this whole ordeal. I babysat while he went out to have an affair. HEY- that's not fair. Now we realize that if we don't make time for us then there is no us.<P>I am so glad you had a great time.<P><BR>

I'm also jealous.<P>Keep it up.<P>I'm truly happy for you!<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

To the top.<P>Thanks, but any replies to my comments on the need to give ourselves lots of time in a "dating" environment? For years I was the dutiful wife, and he the dutiful husband but it's not enough. If affairs are based on a "perfect" if unreal setting, shouldn't we create those settings as much as possible? Obviously within the framework of our many responsibilities. But everyone was given priority - his job, the kids, the in-laws, even the church. It's sad that it took this to make us realize "dating" as a couple is not an optional luxury - it's essential!<BR>

Wafflestoo, your reply wasn't there when I wrote mine. Yes, we need time. I babysat too while he lengthened his business trips and even spent a week with her!

to the top

hey ho! how goes it schizzo-cruise girl...??<P>dating......sigh......when I told H after discovery that our relationship (as it had been for the past 4 years) was OVER.....he understood......he freaked out when I told him he could date me......that he would have to start all over again....you should tell him to take me on a cruise !!!!<P>you are so right......of course our relationships are exciting at the beginning.....we devote so much time, thought and effort into impressing, loving and spoiling our SO's.....just like with the OP.....we have to bring those elements back into our relationships....regardless of the kids, family obligations, bills, and pressure...we HAVE to.....the relationship is what will survive once the kids are grown and gone, once bills have been taken care of...etc...the relationship has to grow...we all have a part in that....to not care for the relationship, or the dating aspect, you might as well live with your brother....<P>as for the bikini-clad women, well, before H's affair, if antonio Banderas was serving drinks on that cruise ship.......in a g-string.....excuse me while I sit back and visualize this........sigh.....well, I would glance over.....after the affair, well, I probably would not...as I would expect him not to overtly ogle either....glance from under the sunglasses...maybe....out and our 'checking out'? i would be a little .....hurt? is that the right hting I'm trying to say???<P>Dylan