Here's the background...
I found out last Dec. that my future husband called a chat line for a few months and that he had set up a meeting with a woman. I found her phone number and called her. She said that the meeting never took place and they never had contact again. I confronted himand he denied everything until I played his ad on the chat line to him. In Feb. he moved into an apartment.... saying he still loved me and wanted to make things work...I believed him. Then I phoned the chat line to "check up on him" and he had another ad!!

After 3 months of back and forth I finally told him I never wanted to see him again( I found out he had a date set with a co-worker of my Best Freind) I refused his calls and never phoned him back. On Sat. in May he begged me to see him for just 5 min(he threatened suicide) so I went... I still loved him and didin't want to see him hurt.

He cried and apologized and creid some more... then he proposed to me saying he knew everything he did was wrong and couldn't live without me.

I accepted and put the ring on.

WE decided to tell each other everything that went on while he lived apart. He said he told me eveything... then 2 months later he told me that he met a woman off the chat line for drinks on day and that he regretted never confiding this to me. He said that they had 2 drinks and parted ways after she said that she knew me as an aquaintance from high school.

How do I let go of the resentment and trust him again????

How can I marry a man I can't fully trust??

HELP!!!

Put the wedding on hold for now. No way should you marry a person you don’t trust. And sometimes, people will use marriage as a way of keeping you on a string. Often, people want to have their cake and eat it too. You being the cake that is always around. The others being the variety, the thrill of the chase, the adventure.

I got just such a proposal. And walked away from a $10,000 ring. Oh, I coveted that ring. But, the guy had another girlfriend. And I couldn’t believe a word he said. And he proposed when we were broken up. And he never told the other girlfriend that he proposed to me.

I’m not saying to dump this guy. Just don’t marry him until you know 100% for sure that there are no more ads, he’s not looking for romantic adventures to spice up his life, etc.

Let me put it this way, if your mother or sister came to you telling you this was how their fiance was treating them, would you think that they should marry them? Would you encourage them to work it out with this man and go ahead with marrying them?

Hi QA,

Please, please go to the In Recovery section of this site, and read two threads:

Sex Addiction is NOT an emotional need, by Absentminded Professor and

More details of my husbands SA are unfolding, by Roberta.

Please read from start to finish, and think about the life YOU want to have.

You know you cannot marry someone you cannot trust. You've had too many warning signs to ignore, and you'll kick yourself HARD later if you marry him. Good luck and take care - Dru

Listen to Drucilla. I'm sorry to say that there is probably SO MUCH more that you don't really know. That is what happened to me. My FWH was really good at lying to me, mostly because I wanted to believe him. We married in the middle of all this mess and it was the year from HELL for me!

Be so careful and be strong!

Thank-you for your replys.
I will take all of your advice into consideration!
I will read those threads Dru - thanks again!

QM