Just told my husband about the online relationship. He said he was sorry, he had pushed me to that, and he was glad it had not gone any further. I couldn't believe he was that understanding. He is the absolute best, but we still need some work.
I told the OM that I could no longer talk to him, because I wanted to follow my beliefs and be loyal to my family.
Now I need to know what books can I get for us to read. We need something good. Is HIs needs, her needs the best one? Please Help

HNHN is a great one to start with. Also check out Lovebusters.

Good luck, sounds like your husband is willing to work with you, and that is better than a lot of people see right off the bat!

Well done spotlightgirl, because by your actions you not only put your money where your mouth is but saved your H, your family and yourself untold grief if you had let this relationship go on any further.

I also highly suggest that you and your H read Dr Willard Harley's 'Surviving An Affair'; Dave Carder's 'Torn Asunder'; and Dr Shirley Glass's 'Not Just Friends'. While your A(affair) was solely an EA(emotional affair), BOTH of you would learn a lot from reading those books (as well as mojodiva's selection) about the dynamics that come into play for A(affairs) to occur.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"I couldn't believe he was that understanding."</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's because BOTH of you have not shared true intimacy (and I don't mean sex) for quite a long time. But if BOTH of you do your best to follow the principles embodied in The Four Rules For A Succesful Marriage , then BOTH of you will have the marriage that you dreamed off the day you got married.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"... but we still need some work."</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We ALL do my dear, we ALL do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Way to go!
It was clear that you loved your husband very much. The truth will always set you free in so many ways. You respected your husband enough to be open and honest with him about your online relationship and he respected your honesty. Now you can work on your relationship together and feel good about each other. Lying and cheating only begets more lying and cheating. I know it is simplistic but the golden rule is still the golden rule. If ever in doubt simply ask yourself the question would I want my spouse to be doing to me what I am doing to them and you will always make the correct decision.
Again congratulations because you are now one of the successful ones here.

Thanks everyone!
Today feels like a new day. I am going to the bookstore, and grabbing up a few of the books you guys mentioned. We are going to make this right. It's too good to throw away.

Way to go SG! My hope is for your and husband's marriage to work THRU this and be stronger than before!!
How about 'Surviving An Affair' - can't remember who it's by though...
HLT

Another good book is Relationship Rescue by Dr Phil. I didn't think I'd like it but it does have some good info. You are on the right track... Good luck in your recovery...