Hi

I have just found out that not only has my H had OC by OW that I knew about but that he has been having multiple affairs. All this year he has been saying that he has not been sleeping around and telling me he is turning over a new leaf. I have had my suspicions but figured I will leave alone until more sure.

Now he has confessed that I don't know the half of it but thank goodness he has no other children elsewhere. I have contunually told him that it won't work with him having affairs left right and centre, he however has wanted his cake and eaten it. So far he has gotten it but now with the appearance of this OC it has made him think and says he has realised it won't work and that he feels ready to committ.

How do I continue to trust the man? I suspected and knew I was right but willing to see what would happen. Now what I would like to happen (he is 100% committed to me)he is saying was going to happen but because I can't stop giving him grief over this OC and OW he feels that it is easier to be alone and be a part time father to his kids than a full time one so he has less hassel with women.

I love the guy and have been patient with him and now seem to be getting some fruitation from that but also now seem to be ruining it with my insecurities. Any advice out there from those who have had multiple affairs and stopped (if at all) of what I and he can do?

Maybe it is best to just walk away but our youngest is only 3 months old.

Please help!

<small>[ September 11, 2003, 02:54 AM: Message edited by: Tojo ]</small>

My WH has had multiple A's too. ANd is still contacting one. If you haven't already, read Dr. Harley's "Surviving an Affair". It helps you to cope with your feelings. It also teaches you how to be loving to your spouse despite what he has done to hurt you.

It really helped me out. I thought there was no hope and for a moment thought separation was best. But have a read and see if it helps.

I am here if you need to chat.

Love and hugs

BH

Hi

Thanks for the reply, but how can you show someone you love them when they keep on having A's? He says he feels like it is an addiction and he can't stop. Though he does also say that now he recognises how he has treated me and that he wants to change and that does help.

I'll try the book but I have tried rading many books and sometimes I get the impression that it needs to come from both not just the one party. Perhaps I'm reading the wrong stuff. Anyhow I'll give it a shot.

Thanks!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
ToJo