I logged in today and 11 of the first 16 topics were all specifically directed toward Cerri. I have no doubt that she is extremely helpful to these people, but since this is a general forum for all to read/see, could these questions be either handled in email, or perhaps in a new specified forum?

I'm sure this will piss some people off, and it's not meant as a slam on her, or the people that write to her, but I typically automatically skip over these type of posts, as I'm sure others do and I think individual questions and/or cries for help that are directed to one specific person are better handled in a more personal manner.

(now putting on flame-retardant suit in anticipation)....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by boomer:
<strong>I logged in today and 11 of the first 16 topics were all specifically directed toward Cerri. I have no doubt that she is extremely helpful to these people, but since this is a general forum for all to read/see, could these questions be either handled in email, or perhaps in a new specified forum?

I'm sure this will piss some people off, and it's not meant as a slam on her, or the people that write to her, but I typically automatically skip over these type of posts, as I'm sure others do and I think individual questions and/or cries for help that are directed to one specific person are better handled in a more personal manner.

(now putting on flame-retardant suit in anticipation)....</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ROTFL... WHAT??? This isn't my forum??? I must have taken a wrong turn at Albukoikee.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Well you don't have to be afraid of me flaming you. I don't believe in it. It's disrespectful and rude.

So hmmmm... you're not liking the way this board looks... (of course, you did just add to it, ya know. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )

Anyone is welcome to post on any thread, regardless of whom they're directed towards. When I was having internet problems there were threads addressed to me that had PAGES of responses and I hadn't even read the initial post. So I wouldn't let the fact that my name is on them stop you from posting or jumping in.

I've considered adding a board to my site. But I like MB. I like being able to give back in some way to the organization that not only did my training but that saved my marriage. Bill and Joyce are wonderful people, I don't think I could say enough good things about them (and we all know I can go on and on and on....and on) Anything I can do to help spread their work is just a small way of saying thanks for all they've done for me. I would not be where I am in my life if it wasn't for Bill Harley and his brilliant concepts and no nonsense politically incorrect style.

So now that we're here.... anything I can help with? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> (putting on my own flame retardant suit...)

C

Cerri,
You made me laugh, and that's a feat in itself this a.m....

I know you help out a lot of people, and I'm sure that you're providing a very valuable service, I just felt a little dismay this morning about the sheer number of posts directed specifically towards you...

Maybe I was off base..if so, my apologies, and I'll be happy to move back into lurker mode...but I thought if I was not reading them because they were specfically addressed to you, then I imagine others are doing the same and in doing so missing out on some good advice.

I too have received so much from this board, and I know we are both "oldtimers" here, I just wanted to make sure everyone received the benefits of the forum. New people who really need help might not be able to benefit from the good advice given when a thread is specifically addressed to one person, as it might scare them off since it's specifically addressed to only one person...does that make any sense?

If it doesn't and i'm way off-base, please accept my apology.

Oh good.... FIRST you tell me that you don't read what I write... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> (do you know that I literally have worn the letters off my keyboard??? ) and THEN you call me an Old Timer. Sheesh!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> What's it gonna be next?? LOL

You made me laugh, and that's a feat in itself this a.m....

See now... if you read my stuff you might laugh more... I take quite a bit of pride in my very warped and twisted sense of humor. Of course, my husband often considers it an annoying behavior... <sigh> (he still laughs though..)

I just felt a little dismay this morning about the sheer number of posts directed specifically towards you...

Yes, I know the feeling... see worn off letters above....

Maybe I was off base..if so, my apologies, and I'll be happy to move back into lurker mode...

No no!!! Come out and play!! The water is just right today. Now what was it you wanted to talk about again.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

but I thought if I was not reading them because they were specfically addressed to you, then I imagine others are doing the same and in doing so missing out on some good advice.

If you check to see which threads are getting traffic they tend to be at the top of the list. I think it's more the warped and twisted sense of humor thing than anything else.

I too have received so much from this board, and I know we are both "oldtimers" here,

We're not discussing that again.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I just wanted to make sure everyone received the benefits of the forum. New people who really need help might not be able to benefit from the good advice given when a thread is specifically addressed to one person, as it might scare them off since it's specifically addressed to only one person...does that make any sense?

Seriously, yes it does and I agree. I think some of what triggers this is the fact that I very seldom respond on threads where I haven't been asked directly for help. Coaching is about a partnership and I don't like to feel as if I'm butting in unasked.. I can't separate being a coach from being a poster... it is what I am and I don't want to be rude about it and just go stomping about with my opinion unless it's asked for.

And the other thing is that I just don't have time. Once in a while I get a few minutes to surf around and I would love to reply but if I'm not sure I'm welcome and I have others who want help the time factor usually gets me. POJA threads being the exception, those I just can't ignore... it's an addiction.

If it doesn't and i'm way off-base, please accept my apology.

No apologies needed. I'm not offended and I think you make a good point. Now stop ignoring and start reading!! (Oh dear, I suppose that goes into the demand column.... )

C

And hey boomer.....just cause they're addressed to cerri....doesn't mean us mere mortals can't put in our two cents. I'm brash enough to wade into shark infested waters LOL!

While I am another "old-timer", I have not had the specific training Cerri has. So, I like reading these threads...gives me a little more insight at times into exactly how these concepts should be applied, and helps me help others.

I bet there are a lot of lurkers who may not post, but read and learn, and I think having these discussions out in the "open waters" of the board is great for that reason.

Kathi

Heck, I post on any thread, regardless of who is in the title. I'd probably jump in on one that said "Takola, please do not post".

Some of the threads addressed to Cerri can be indirectly attributed to me. I advise people to put that in the title so that Cerri will read and reply. It isn't because no one else can reply.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by *Takola*:
<strong>Heck, I post on any thread, regardless of who is in the title. I'd probably jump in on one that said "Takola, please do not post".

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">HA!! I know you, that would be the thing most likely to put in a title to get you to reply!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

How's the weather out there?

C

Weather is picking up. We are leaving work at noon, primarily due to the fact that my building is on a pier.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Heck, I post on any thread, regardless of who is in the title. I'd probably jump in on one that said "Takola, please do not post".
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ESPECIALLY those that say "takola don't post!" Yep, she and I are both brazen hussies!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Okay, Okay...I GIVE!!!!

I promise it will never bother me again, nor will I ever skip over a post just because it has her (or takola, or star or ANYBODY'S name on it...

You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming...

oops...double post

<small>[ September 18, 2003, 10:45 AM: Message edited by: boomer ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I promise it will never bother me again, nor will I ever skip over a post just because it has her (or takola, or star or ANYBODY'S name on it...
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey, you are welcome to come in and flame me. It's almost a team sport on the EN board. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Okay, Okay...I GIVE!!!!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't do that....let's mess with cerri some more!!! She and takola are in a contest to see who can have the most threads at the top of the forum. hehehhehehhehe

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Don't do that....let's mess with cerri some more!!! She and takola are in a contest to see who can have the most threads at the top of the forum. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How do you do that? I think I have the most at the top of the EN board that are threads BY me. Cerri's threads are TO her.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I think I'm losing.

See Boomer, see??? Now you've done it... added another thread that's taking up space!! LOL

Tak, honey... you aren't losing... I'm winning!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Just kidding, really.

It's like the number of posts thing... it doesn't matter. What matters is whether or not you read and get the concepts and then use that information to help others. If we can help one couple save their marriage and prevent the terrible pain and tragedy of divorce, if we can save one child from seeing her family ripped apart, then nothing else matters.

If what any of us says gives someone courage to take the terrifying steps necessary to end a spouse's affair or gives an unfaithful spouse some insight into what they are doing, then the name on the topic, the number of threads or the number of posts are insignificant twaddle.

At the end of the day it's the helping hand we were able to extend to others that makes all the difference.

Hugs girls... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

C

Good gracious!!!!
Boomer-Dude!
Cerri is the cream of the crop, ain't she.
That's not to say that Tak and Star* doing a great job following in dear ol' mom's foot steps.

Boomer, feel free to crash my party any ol' time! the more the merrier. Misery does LOVE company.

I just over here bustin' away trying to get as many posts as dear Tak. It's a tough job, but it gives me purpose and a goal.

xo
H.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by *Hypatia:
<strong>.....that Tak and Star* doing a great job following in dear ol' mom's foot steps.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL! Ol' mom's foot steps? LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Good one Hypatia! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> That's better than any of the horse jokes we use to post to C!

HoFS

<small>[ September 18, 2003, 01:29 PM: Message edited by: HofFenceSitter ]</small>

HoFs!!!! Hello!! Long time no hear... how ya doin'? How's life in Iceland?

And don't even start with the horse thing.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

C

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cerri:
<strong>HoFs!!!! Hello!! Long time no hear... how ya doin'? How's life in Iceland?
C</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Difficult C. Difficult. I cope by ignoring the STBXW for the most part. I find that is the easiest way for me to stay out of trouble. I still try to understand my STBXW. That gets us into discussions that go no where. Now, I kind of disappear into my own little world after the kids go to bed. In the morning, nothing is spoken between us unless it has something to do with the kids. On the other hand, she doesn't speak to me either. She had a fairly important presentation to make the other day, something that could eventually land her a new job in her field. Where did she tell me she was going? Just into town to drop off some supplies. I guess she figures it is her best interest not to tell me what is going on in her life.

Since she filed objections to the judge's decision, we're still waiting on the transcript of the hearing to be prepared. I'm guessing the judge won't rule on the objections before Nov. 1. That's a long time for two people to live together that don't want to have anything to do with each other. Neither of us is going to leave the residence without the custody issue being resolved however.

Oh, and I'm kind of lonely too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I went out to a local festival over the weekend with the kids, which was fun, don't get me wrong. But it sure would have been nice to share the experiences with other adult companionship. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

HoFS