I'm very curious! Since I'm fairly new here, this is the first time that I've heard of something like this. I'd like a chance to see what the other side is writing. That's all.

Thx

Lemon,

Please understand that my question was because many of us who have been there know the TOW board is a painful place for the BS to visit. It is like seeing and hearing from those who are proud of their A accomplishments 1st hand. It is hard to shake it out of your mind and if you are not strong enough to take it, it could trigger a lot of anger which could cause problems for yourself, hurt your personal recovery, displace your anger on others, etc. I have seen it affected persons on both sides.

Just beaware of the dangers. With this warning, do you still want to know the site name?

L.

Can i chime in?

Lemon...
BSs are welcomed on TOW. However, as Orchid mentioned this may not be the place for you to visit depending on your situation.

Shoudl you choose to visit, please keep in mind, that most of these people are actively involveded in A's, many of them long term, some waiting for their MMs to leave their Ms, others dont need/want their MM's to leave their M's. We have a pretty good circle of BSs who post there, many of whom are friends of OWs... but they have very different concepts than are posted here. Plan A is unheard of, for one thing.

And like anything there are women there, as here, who are in a great deal of pain. I know that often times, an OWs pain is not seen as valid, but the board is devoted to supporting OWs who are in pain becuase of their EMRs... and there is A LOT of pain.

You may not feel its valid, justified, and you may even feel we deserve it. We dont mind you lurking, but when posting, we do ask that you leave your judgements behind. Its kind of our board etiquette. I try to do the same when posting here.

Thanks <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Rain...

In reading through this particular post, I understood what the TOW board was all about. I would not have asked otherwise. Still all the same I'm very curious. I appreciate the warnings about what I would be reading there, but I believe if nothing else, it would be a learning experience. An educational experience.

Yes, my situation is still very fresh, as you know Orchid. You've been very helpful with your posts. At this point, I may not be ready to visit it, but when I am ready, I'd like to have the link ready to go.

Thx again.

Lemon-

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">In reading through this particular post, I understood what the TOW board was all about. I would not have asked otherwise. Still all the same I'm very curious. I appreciate the warnings about what I would be reading there, but I believe if nothing else, it would be a learning experience. An educational experience. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't post here much and I am long past the shock and pain of my x leaving (and marrying) the ow. I've got to 2nd what the others have said to you, so far. That board is not a good place for you. Yes, I know you are an adult, as we all are, BUT, I've got to tell you...it's been nearly 15 years since my x and I divorced and I have been happily remarried for 12 years. I really do not have any residual pain associated with that time in my life. It's over and done.

I visited that site earlier and I've got to tell you, first I was livid and then I was nauseated. I count several former ow among my friends, so that isn't MY issue. I even get along with the ow who broke up my marriage. If I'd thought for one minute (all those years ago) that she was capable of the kind of cold-blooded calculating behavior that I read about, I just might have killed her (seriously). To see some of them gleefully talking about planning weddings (after your divorce) and tearfully making demands of men like YOUR husband, I think you will come away with wounds you do not need.

The site is useful for the ow, no doubt about it. For the BS, it's like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die from it.

I do see value in listening to another point of view and there are other sites where ow and bs share thoughts and ideas. They are a bit more "sensitive" and may do you some good. If you'd like me to send you a link, email me.

Hugs,
BTM

<small>[ September 21, 2003, 10:00 PM: Message edited by: BeenThereMyself ]</small>

www.gloryb.com

I trust you're and adult, so make your own decisions.

But please, I've read some of your other posts and you're in the same kind of stage that I'm in, where your seeking answers to where to go from here. Your time is MUCH better spend getting support here than getting angry there. It will not do any good for carrying out your plan A with your H. You will encounter people that are not as enlightened as Rain, and who brag and boast about their A. I regret going... only builds up my rage.

Rain,
you've shown a lot of respect for WS on the TOW board, and I respect that, you show sensitivity.
I'm sorry you didn't get it here, but this specific area may not have been the most appropriate place. Maybe in GQ it might have been. This area is for us just finding out, kind of a BS only area. You guys have that in your OW only area, and I know BS are NOT welcomed to post there.
But I do get your point and I agree about the NC letter, my H won't send one either, and have more respect for that then if he did what your MM did and send one and call to warn you he did not mean it. You gotta start to recover your integrity somewhere... Glad yours found his. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Thanks for understanding and for the link.

Wishing you the best.