I am familiar with MB prinicples for some time now. Hubby is not interested. He has a history of sexual addiction including short term fairly meaningless affairs. This one is different.
He thinks he is in love this time. And he may well be, but as far as I'm concerned who cares. He also thinks that I don't deserve this type of behavior and that being with me is just hurting me. I know it sounds like an excuse. But I think maybe he believes it somewhat too. He says he loves me, but that he doesn't think we can get over our history and he doesn't want to keep hurting me. He told me that he wants to be with her.
I told him I thought it was easy to develop feelings for people, but that he had made a commitment to our family and that the choice hads already been made. I am trying to be supportive and the kind of wife I should have been all along. I told him I would not stand in his way if he left, but that I felt like it was wrong to leave his commitment. He doesn't live in black and white though. He has spent his years growing up in the gray areas, justifying his bad actions and failing time and again and put down by his alcoholic mother. I know he's looking for love and acceptance, and I haven't always provided that because I've pointed out how he can do better in not such a nice way sometimes. I'm not blaming me, just taking responsibility for my part. Anyway, I'm showing that unconditional love now to show him I can provide what he needs, trying to be supportive. I can deal okay with him needing love and even thinking he is in love. I just have a hard time figuring out how to respond to him saying that he can never make me happy and that our love is "mediocre".
If anyone has ideas, let me know. This seems to be a true corner for us. And this plan A feels like the first true one too. We'll see. I think he truly wants to bail and go to her.
Oh, one last twist...if he goes he will take the kids. Toddlers who know me as mommy, but they don't have my dna. He introduced them to her on saturday. she lives four hours away, and he took them there for a little trip. How I feel for these poor children.
<small>[ September 23, 2003, 08:35 AM: Message edited by: aimee2 ]</small>
