Hi Cerri (and ALL who read)

I’ve been struck again by my H’s heartlessness (is that a word?). Anyways. Last night my cousin called me to tell me that H had been over her house. She was really pissed off at him at the time. We’re not sure what the purpose of his visit was but her started talking to her husband (who is our church pastor) about wanting to go back to church. He said he just wasn’t sure how people were going to treat him. Then he said that he would be accompanied (by ow). He’s said before that God is not a part of his life anymore, yet he wants to go to church AND take OW with him?? Is he just trying to bring out his relationship with OW to the open?

My cousin was really mad at him and told him that he first needed to do things right with me. So, he said that he was going to. He is going to look into a divorce this Friday (not sure if that means actually FILING). She asked if I knew about this and he said he didn’t have to tell me now ‘cause I already knew we were going to get divorce. He said he was going to do things right…..divorce me and then marry OW. (Oh sure, after 7 months of living in Adultery!!) Now he’s got a conscious? (sp?)

What really got me was that he then said something about not wanting his car anymore (he just got it about a month ago) but I’m guessing he’s still struggling financially. He said that he has to pay his car, his insurance and now he’s going to start giving his mom some money for rent (a BIG $100). He made it sound like it wasn’t fair, since he didn’t even eat there and sleeps on the living room couch. He had just come from having dinner at Subway. Ok, my question….if OW really loves him, how come she doesn’t feed him? Why doesn’t she cook for him? I’m not an excellent cook but I always made sure he was fed. Arrgghh! SOOOO, he started saying that he was going to fight me for my money!! Can you believe that? Since I always made more money than he did, he got so used to that lifestyle I was able to give him and now he’s struggling. So, he wants me to keep supporting him after we divorce!!! WHO IS THIS MAN???? This is so not him.

Is this all still FOG? He later said that he doesn’t want to ever go before a judge for this divorce. That if he and I agree with everything, we can just sign the papers and be off to our separate lives. Ok now…..what makes him think I’m going to agree with supporting him after divorce?? Have his brains been fried?? I don’t understand!! Have you ever heard of situations like this? Please give some suggestions and comments. ANYONE!

Thank you for your time!!

H98

Hi H98,

I can comment on his statement that he doesnt want to go before a judge; THAT's Great! Does he expect you to just roll over and PAY him for sleezing out on his marriage? I'd fight him to the death before I gave him my money!! And since he 1) wants it over and 2) doesnt want to see a judge HE should be the one to 'agree with everything'.

(I made more than my exH, and he spent MY money at the topless bars <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I guess your post hit a nerve with me... )

Fog or total lack of character, seems it doesnt matter what you call it, at this point. Sounds like you need to get through the D as well as you can, and have a happy life just to spite him. Take care - Dru

<small>[ September 25, 2003, 09:52 PM: Message edited by: trustntruth ]</small>

Trustnworth,

You had some excellent points that I was going to reply on but now I see you deleted your post. What happened? I also replied to you at the other forum but wanted to say more here.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Oh Well.

Thanks for you reply though. You are very right in my problems with Plan B.

H98

Just a brief update.

I don't know if H really went to look for divorce info or but I went to church this evening and guess who showed up? My H. He was NOT with OW, but by himself. I'm thankful to God 'cause I know that he IS working. Deep in his heart somehwere. It's friday night, and he could have gone out to a party or drinking but instead he went to church.

I'm not getting my hopes up but this is a small step for him and his relationship with God.

We didn't talk or look at each other but I'm pretty sure he saw me too (just like I saw him).

bump