MY HUSBAND HAD AN AFFAIR, FEW OUT OF STATE TO MEET THIS PERSON TWICE. THE AFFAIR LASTED 6 MONTHS ON THE NET/CHAT AND PHONE THEN AFTER THEY MET A MONTH LATER SHE WENT BACK TO HER HUSBAND. I'M HEART BROKEN BECAUSE HE SAID HE TRUELY LOVED HER CRYING IN MY ARMS.NOW HE'S TALKING ABOUT GETTING A TATOO OF A DOLOPHIN (SHE HAD ONE ON HER TUMMY.WHEN HE DRINKS ALCOHOL AND GETS A LITTLE DRUNK HE ALWAYS BRINGS HER UP ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.HE STARTED THE AFFAIR ON THE INTERNET IN A CHAT ROOM AND FOR 6 MONTHS THEY WOULD CHAT ALL DAY AND TALK ON THE PHONE. HE ASKED ME TO MOVE OUT OF OUR BEDROOM WHICH I DID.IT WAS VERY HARD LIVING UNDER THE SAME ROOF AND WATCHING HIM BEING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE, HEARING HIM ON THE PHONE TELLING HER HE LOVED HER AND TO JOIN HIM IN THE CHAT ROOM.HE FORGOT I WAS THERE.ANYWAY THAT'S JUST A LITTLE PART OF WHATS HAPPENED IN THE PAST 4 MONTHS.NOW HE STILL CHATS TO PEOPLE AND HAS MADE SOME VERY GOOD FRIENDS IN THIS CHAT ROOM, HE EVEN HAS VOICE CHAT NOW THROUGH YAHOO.I'M FINDING IT VERY HARD TO TRUST HIM.JUST A MONTH AGO HE WAS GETTING INVOLVED WITH ANOTHER GIRL IN CA. BUT THAT ENDED WHEN ONE OF HIS CHAT BUDDIES INFORMED HIM THAT SHE WAS A CON AND TRIES TO GET MONEY OUT OF GUYS.SO THAT ENDED.HE DOESN'T KNOW I KNOW THIS THOUGH.RIGHT NOW I'M SUPPORTING FIVE OF US ON $13.00 AN HOUR WHICH IS HARD.WE HAVE 3 GREAT DAUGHTERS 15,10 AND 9. THEY KNOW WHAT HE'S DONE AND THEY KNOW IT'S WRONG.I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT NOW.WITH ME HE'S ACTING LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED, HE'S NEVER EVEN SAID "I'M SORRY" FOR WHAT HE'S PUT ME AND OUR CHILDREN THROUGH.I'M EXPECTING A "CLAIM" FROM A CAR ACCIDENT AND I'M WONDERING IF THAT'S WHY HE'S BEING SO NICE.WHAT A HORRIBLE FEELING THAT IS,JUST HAVING THE DOUBT.I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.I'M AFFRAID TO TRUST HIM.HE MAY OF ALREADY STARTED ANOTHER AFFAIR FOR ALL I KNOW.I DIDN'T FIND OUT ABOUT THE FIRST ONE UNTIL 6 MONTHS INTO THEIR RELATIONSHIP. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. CAN ANYONE GIVE ME A CLUE?PLEASE,I NEED SOME INSIGHT TO MY MESS...THANK YOU

Dear Mand,

Welcome to MB. I am sorry you are in this situation but it is similar to what many of us have faced.

While we can't resolve your financial situation, we can help you cope emotionally.

1. Read the concepts section above
2. Go to the library and check out the books:
a. Surviving an Affair by Dr W Harley
b. His needs/Her needs by Dr W. Harley
c. Love mus be tough by Dr James Dobson

3. See if you medical plan will allow IC or MC.
4. Get yourself checked by your doctor. Maybe he can prescribe or recommend something to help you cope. The emotional toll is great during these kinds of times and with children you may feel weak.
5. If there has been a PA, get checked for STD.
6. Learn about plan A vs Plan B. Find out if he is stalling to get something like $$.

7. If he is not being safe for you and the children, get yourself to a safer level.

8. Check out your financial and legal options.

9. Keep posting how you are doing.

take care,
L.