I was wondering what the absolutely worst lies were that your S may have told you. I have been told a few myself that are just dizzying in their stupidity. I'll start first. Maybe we can see who told the most (hilariously) bad lie! Too bad I don't have any real contest prizes... <P>** ** ** ** **<P><B>H:</B> <I>"I'm staying at the 'Y.'"</I> ...this lie got old real fast, especially since he told it to me for a <I>whole month straight.</I> I eventually pried the truth out of his best friend, who admitted to me he'd been caught in some kind of criminal escapade and was actually <I>incarcerated.</I> I was upset at first but the next time he phoned, I had gotten over it and laughingly asked him how the 'Y' was treating him... Oh, did he ever feel like a cad for that lie!!!<P><B>H:</B> <I>"I was late because I was out giving rides home to several people from the bachelor party last night..."</I> I would have laughed if it hadn't have been for the seriousness of the situation. At the time, my XH owned a Fiero, which only seats TWO!!! This was probably <B>the</B> stupidest lie XH (or probably anybody else) ever told... XH winced & obviously felt like a moron every time that lie managed to surface in conversation...<P>Oh, but there are so many more - to list them all would take too long... Please share the stupidest lies. I really need a laugh, & I hope you at least got a chuckle out of those that have been told to me - I know I did (eventually)!!! <P>------------------<BR>~~ Elixir ~~<P>

We were about a month post discovery, and although my H had stopped seeing her, they was still contact by phone (whole other story) and I of course did not know. Whenever I tried to talk about what had happened, he would clam up...just saying it was over.<P>I remember saying something like, "I now know you can lie to me, how can I believe ANYTHING you say."<P>His answer, "You CAN believe me, I only lie about the affair."<P>As far as I can tell THAT was the truth. I have never caught him in a lie before and now after in 17 years. He packed up all his lies in a neat 3 month package.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

My favorite is ater I confronted herwith her hacked emails- <BR>" i planted those to see if you would hack into my mail".<BR>" its a joke"<BR>"how stupid do i think you are".

H spent New Year's Eve in a hotel with the bimbo.<BR>"We didn't sleep together - just played cribbage."<P>Uh huh!!

How about( and sorry if too graphic),<BR>"I was so drunk I couldn't even get hard to do anything."<P>Yeah RIGHT so how did you get an STD? <P>Do I have STUPID F*#K Stamped on my forehead?

It just makes you wish that you had recorded what they were saying, so that you could replay it and make them hear (for themselves) just how stupid, bad, and obvious their lies are...<P><I>~~~fantasy~~~</I> <P><B>THEM:</B> "<I>insert stupid, bad, obvious lie here</I>"<P><B>US:</B> <I>whipping out tape recorder, rewinding it, holding it up, pressing 'play'</I> "Just <I>listen</I> to yourself! <I>Just listen to yourself!!!</I> <B>SHAME ON YOU!!!</B>"<P>------------------<BR>~~ Elixir ~~<P><p>[This message has been edited by Elixir (edited December 20, 1999).]

Me: (with knowledge of hacked ICQ file contents) Did you ever tell him you love him?<BR>W: No.<BR>Me: (confronting with ICQ evidence) Why did you lie?<BR>W: I didn't lie. I never <B>told</B> him I loved him. I <B>typed</B> it.

Here's a few stupid ones:<P>I slept at her house, but I only slept on the couch....<P>If there's anything you can believe, please believe that there is no one....just believe that....<P>I didn't sleep at her house, I slept outside in our car, at the parking lot by my work...I even caught a cold because of it...

EW told me and her best friend that om was diagnosed as bipolar.<P>When I confronted her about exposing the kids to someone like this , that has guns, she said she made it all up to see what people were saying.<P>I never knew my Ew to lie either, now thats all she does.

RWD -- I can relate to what you said. I told W that I was impressed with the personal change that OM could inspire. I said that W was the most moral person I ever knew when I met her, now she seems to feel that it's alright to have sex with someone other than her spouse. I also said that she was someone who could never tell a lie and now she can lie to and deceive me at the drop of a hat. Pretty impressive....<P>--DeWayne--

Man,<P>I looks like I shouldn't even enter this contest. Val came up with very plausable reasons. "I was at my parents house". "My sisters house". "My friends house". "Helping with a kidney transplant at the hospital". <P>I taped the phone lines and the night of discovery she lied to my face not once, but twice of her whereabouts. Unfortunately for her I had her voice and her "friends" on tape and knew exactly where they were. Does this count as the worst lie? Obviously if I woke her up at 02:30 in the am to see where she was and she still had the guts to give me a fabricated story. Hey, I win.<P>I am never suprised anymore.<P><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

Medic -- I had W the same way with the two calls over the T-day holiday. When I asked her if she had called him she said she hadn't, that it was all in my mind. I asked if I had the phone records in my hands would her story change and she said, "No, it's just in your imagination".

Hi HP,<P>You know my imagination must have gone haywire. I don't have a reasonable explanation. I can only offer my sincere apologies that I must have had a mental break down.<P>Maybe we should increase the dosage of our anti deps. I can't believe that I was so disillusioned to think that I actually heard her voice on the tape as well as his. I must have been so tired that I misinterpreted the conversation.<P>Boy, do I feel like Mr. Winky. I know my W would NEVER do that to me. We have a history! Wev'e been married for 5 years!. Wev'e been together for 11. I am a complete idiot for thinking that she would cheat on me. <P>Now I feel better. <P>FAAAAA....Q... if you think I buy into this [censored]. [Val getting the indesgrestion]<P><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

My worst lie to my H:<P>"I never had sex with him"<BR>_________________________________<P>My H's worst lie(s)<P>Long before I ever met the OM.<P>1. I love you and I'm not going to leave you.<P>Lies he told after the affair:<P>2. I forgive you. <BR>3. There is no one else like you.<BR>4. I love you.<BR>5. We slept in the same hotel room, but we didn't have sex.<BR>6. I tore up the divorce papers (he didn't).<BR>7. I promise we'll spend Christmas together.<BR>8. I want to grow old with you.

W: "WE HAVE NEVER DISCUSSED THIS"<BR>ME: "REALLY?"<BR>W: (Looking at me straight in the eye) "REALLY!"<P>(This was 1 day after I told her that I had read her e-mails, in 1 message & its reply they were discussing it- OP pushing for an answer).<P>THE BEST ONE:<P>W says that OP didn't aproach her, but the other way around. OP actually sent an insinuating e-mail TO THE COMPANY'S e address!!! (how stupid can you be) days before the affair began (I read it when it was too late & the message was in the "deleted" folder- damn!!!)<BR><P>------------------<BR>Live and learn

My lovely hasn't come up with anything note worthy.<P>So far I think D2 has the best one.<P>Thanks D2 i had to laugh. No offence.<P>DO I HAVE STUPID F#$K STAMPED ON MY FOREHEAD.<P>Did he realy think it would work.<P>It's amazing how our beloveds become these evil creatures to justify themselves<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

WHEN W WAS ASKED WHY SHE WAS PAGING OP 10x PER DAY?<P>"It is just a -- keep your chin up message"<P>WHEN ASKED WHAT "LU" MEANT IN AN INTERCEPTED PHONE CONVERSATION<P>"That is a nickname -- it doesn't mean Love You"<P>WHEN WIFE ASKED IF SHE THOUGHT WE HAD MARITAL PROBLEMS (AFTER TWO MONTHS OF HER BEING GONE EVERY FRIDAY, SATURDAY, SUNDAY)<P>"No"<P><BR>WHEN ASKED IF DIVORCE/SEPERATION WAS WHAT SHE WANTED (ACTUALLY ANY QUESTION).<P>"I don't know"<BR> <P>OK - DUH - I AM AN IDIOT - I AM GOING TO STAY MARRIED TO SOMEONE WHO RUNS AROUND EVERY DAY ON ME. NOT!<P>People in the midst of affairs take the cake. My biggest relief in this whole situation is that there is no way all this lying and cheating to spouses and the op's spouse can produce a healthy relationship for the cheaters. No way. Good luck to them -- they found each other! Now it is just a matter of time before one of them starts cheating on the other....<P>P

Oh...here's another stupid one...<P>My H e-mailed the OW....I found the e-mail...brought it up on the screen to question him on it. He replied, "I didn't write that. Must have been someone else using my user name." I replied, "Who wrote the OW then....ME?? The kids? Kids can't even log on! They are only 3 & 4 years old"<P>Then, he admits that he indeed wrote it. I swear...it's right there in his face and he was denying it....how stupid!

Yes Bill I think he did believe I would by this, but I didn't. I may be nieve about somethings, but come on............<P>He keeps saying he was too drunk to do anything, can't even remember her name, hmmmm<P>But he can remember she wore a dress and the color of her hair. And some other details I won't mention. But remember, He couldn't get it up. R>>I>>G>>H>>T!!! I'll be accepting my award for StupidF&#K of the millemium soon. I'll save you seat, okay Bill.<P>NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I finally discovered the "hard proof" of her tele. number on our pre-paid phone card (used while on our family vacation in Disney World) I called my H as work asked him whose number it was. He told me whose number it belonged to, but then said, "It's not what you think!"<P>UNFORTUNATELY... this whole things is way more than I ever wanted to think about. To learn the sordid details of H's affair with his nympth child (He is 45 and she was 19) was more than I could handle at the time. It's not what you think... what could he have meant by that?