I was logged in as Dogg1 but it won't let me get in . So I registered again.(already read everything here)

My H has another OW for 10 mts and counting.
Has only been able to be with her a couple of hours at a time a couple of times a month. She is married also.Says he loves her and wants to be with her.

Last night we had a long talk .

I have been doing everything I can to meet all his needs .
For eight weeks now and I still am in the same spot I was at the beginning.

H has sex with me for 8 weeks 2 - 3 times a day.
We talk and spend time together. Says he loves me .

I know I am part to blame for this.
But just how long am I suppose to wait for him ??

He says he can't give either one of us up.

So now what ??

Ouch. Yikes. I know the pain.

What do you mean, he moved back home but not of his free will?

I say this all the time, and I'll say it again. Do phone counseling with the Harleys.

Do you know who the OW is? Are you willing to shine a bright light on the affair, tell her H, expose the cockroaches? Are you willing to go public with the whole mess?

Or are you like me, ashamed and believing that his cheating is somehow your fault, and wanting to protect your public image?

(((((((((((((used for 26 years)))))))))))))))))

At least he still loves you, is still intimate. That gives you something to work with.

Call the Harleys, 26.

Dogg1

I posted to you twice on the Emotional Needs post too your posts..

ironically I was the last on each of them the one about lies and another one...and never got any feedback ...
So I am not sure you want to "hear" from me...that's OK you won't be the first or last.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I posted to you that I am and still, after reading this post concerned about your taking on too much of the blame for this...while responsible for the status of a marriage relationship his infidelity is his choice alone ...he alone responsible for his actions...and accountable to them and their consequances...

BS often live in fear that if they "do something" that makes the WS upset then they will be the cause or the one to blame for things "going wrong"...
and while disrepectful judgements and name calling serve no purpose boundary setting for you is not the same thing...
you need to protect you ...

what about exposing the affair does the OP husband no his wife is cheating on him...have you thought about telling him...

I would encourage you to remove all focus off of him and decide and define what it is you want and desire...
from yourself and in marriage...

plan A as well as meeting his needs in which it sounds like you have done very well...is also about setting boundaries and limits on what is tolerable in your world...

also if you really have done a good plan A it may time to consider plan B....to remove yourself from his sick little cake eating triangle...it protects the love you have left for him and offers him a road map when he decides to end his painful ways....

It sounds like your love bank is draining fast...

his words of saying he loves...
not good enough.
mean nothing..love is not a word it is action...
don't except a twisted definition of the word love

ARK

It sounds like you are not in Plan A. It sounds like you are just meeting his needs and ignoring your own. Have you read:What Are Plan A and Plan B?, Plan A, Doormats and Love Busters by Zorweb and Cerri on Plan A?

Yes the OW H knows all about my H and her .
I have told the grown kids and all our friends and family.

And yes I know who she is and have her number and know where her business is also.

I have never thought in a million yrs I would be where I am now.

I told him last night I have his di*k and she has his heart.
I feel I got the short end of the stick.

I have cryed I have screamed now I don't know what I want or where I am.
I feel like my heart as just left me all together.

He isn't being ugly or anything about it.
We aren't hollering or fighting.
I asked questions and he gave honest answers.

Now I have to deal with the truth. No sugar coating.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by johnh39:
<strong>It sounds like you are not in Plan A. It sounds like you are just meeting his needs and ignoring your own. Have you read:What Are Plan A and Plan B?, Plan A, Doormats and Love Busters by Zorweb and Cerri on Plan A?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Have you read the info on Plan A and Plan B? If not, PLEASE do...read them again if you have. You are not getting anywhere at present...

DITTO RE PLAN A OR PLAN B or you are just going to be where you have been and where you are now.

So what have you got to lose -- you can't stay the way you are it is breaking your heart...

PLAN A OR PLAN B NOW!