Hi,

I'm fairly new here, and was wondering who might have some advice for me.

I was recently involved in an EA with a woman who had been a friend of mine and my wife's for over a decade.

Over a period of six months, via e-mail, we developed very strong feelings for each other. Basically, we fell in love with each other. It all came out a couple of months ago, and we haven't spoken to each other in over a month.

I am torn between my love for my wife, and my love for my "OW". Anyone else out there going through this, or gone through it, that could offer advice?

Luckiest Duck

What is your view on the importance of marriage vows?

In your view, how are marriage vows and love connected?

In your view, how does one's respect for one's vows translate into self-respect?

What have you done in the last month to restore the love in your marriage?

In your view, is love possible in the context of cheating and/or lies?

Pep

LD What do YOU want? If the answer is both women then sadly you won't find anyone here that will help you and support you. But if you are here because you want to save and rebuild your marriage then the first thing you have to end ALL contact with the OW NOW AND FOREVER by writing a no contact letter to her explaining that you are going to rebuild your marriage and that you are no longer going to contact her. You and this woman have sacrificed your friendship by crossing marital boundaries, and to beleive that you can still remain friends is only deluding yourself. The second thing you MUST do is to come clean with your W(wife) about your EA with her so called friend because she deserves to know the truth so that she can decide if she wants to remain married to you. Lastly, get help from a pro-marriage professional like Steve, Jen Harley from the Marriage Builders Counseling Center or Penny Tupy from Save Your Marriage Central. The choice is yours.