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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 530
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 530 |
I posted last week and I have gotten so much good advice on this form.
Things have been good at home. I feel like a new person and I'm really enjoying sexuality with my husband thanks to Pepperband's advice to let the 'tigress' out. ;-)
But still, I feel this pain inside of about all the things that happened in the last two weeks. My H initially wanted to go to counseling with me, but he now feels that it may not be necessary anymore since we can now enjoy painfree sex. He said that he has been feeling more connected to me since then and he's been attentive and considerate regarding my feelings. We have actually had some very open and honest conversation that did not end in tears or angry fits and I think that we both learned a lot about each other.
But still I feel confused about what to do next. I feel like I live day by day, constantly on the edge.
He said that he wrote the OW an email and told her that he could not continue the relationship as before and she responded that she wants to make the relationship with her fiance work as well. I did not see those emails. When I asked him to show me, he said that he deleted them. He has not been on the computer at home, but he has access to IM/Internet at work. I feel very uneasy about this. He also deleted all of the emails that I found in reference to their romantic relationship in our computer.
How can we move forward from this point?
Kati
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"How can we move forward from this point?"</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">For starters you can request to him that it would mean a lot to you if in the futute he seeks your input first before he takes any action(s) that affect your life as well. Tell him that it would it would show that his deeds do indeed match his words when he tells you that he cares about you.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Read the book Suriving the Affair. It outlines there the steps needed for good recovery. U 2 need to find a symbolic way to throw the A away. Your H needs to know that regaining your trust is his challenge not yours. Reassurance is a biggie for recovering BS'. Also there is a grieving stage the BS can go through, sounds like you are in it. 5 stages of grieving This thread helped me. L.
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