We are in recovery, no contact with the OW, but I wonder if we need something more concrete like another wedding (or renewing of our vows). I think he is more comitted than I am. I was the betrayed, and I feel I'm waiting to see if there can be real passion between us again. But I would really feel justified leaving him if someone else came along. He lost his wedding ring during the first affair, and I thought nothing of it. Maybe instead of just buying one, we should exchange vows again. He says he will not be unfaithful again, but that is precisely my fear. He had a secret life for over a year!<P>So, has anyone exchanged vows again????

This is something that I feel is necessary eventually in my marriage. I mentioned it to my H and he realizes it is something that I really believe we should do. We are 3 years into recovery and it has been too tumultuous to accomplish as of yet. Hopefully this will be the year. I did take off my wedding ring and gave it back to him on day #1. He took it to a jeweler and had the diamonds remounted in a new setting with several new stones as well. So, I do have what I consider to be a new wedding ring.<P>I felt my marriage was dead and what I have now is a work in progress. I want to say new vows before God.

Shizzo,<BR>I think that is a good idea. My wife and I are renewing our vows on Valentines Day on the beach in Cancun. I am looking forward to doing this. I think it will truley mean something and will help us to remember why we are married and just refresh promises that were made to each other 15 years ago. If any one wants to join us, you may. Some of our friends are going with us to witness this. We are however having a little trouble finding a preacher. The have wedding packages at the hotel we are going to. The problem is it is $800. This is for a wedding that is a legal marriage, complete with blood tests, flowers, certificate ect. We are already married and so all of that seems unnecessary(???)to us. We just want to find a preacher pay him a $100 and skip all of the other.<P>Duck and Weaves husband

Boy, I wouldn't mind doing it in Cancun! But I would like our own pastor to do it. He has been a big part of our lives during our entire marriage. We met him soon after we were married, so he didn't do it the first time. Maybe we could time it so we could then take a honeymoon trip WITHOUT THE KIDS.

My H & I are approx. 10 months in recovery. We are considering doing this when we visit Tahoe next year. Hopefully, it won't be too expensive. We got married in one of those small chapels in Tahoe. I think we will renew our vows at the same chapel. I think we will do this alone, with no witnesses (other than the preacher). It means a lot to me and my H said that it means a lot to him too.<P>I consider that our marriage died because of his affair. I feel like we are rebuilding a new marriage. This renewal of vows would be symbolic of that.

I think it is a great idea......before my life took a SH*! I was going to ask my husband to do the same thing and then to do it in every state we moved to(military)....ya know kind of like a journal of our love.......i am still hoping to do that...I am just in the beginning of all this <P>------------------<BR>:) I will love my husband "Always & Forever" :)<P>

My H and I renewed our vows this past Saturday.<BR>We asked the minister of our church to do it, and just us and 1 friend (to take a couple of photos) were there. H asked me to do it for our 10th anniversary in August, but I just wasn't ready yet...<BR>My H made all the arrangements and I wrote a whole new service, with different vows than our original ones, if you're interested in reading it I've posted it at <A HREF="http://www.affairs-help.com" TARGET=_blank>www.affairs-help.com</A> under the closure and forgiveness discussion board, "Our Renewal Service" written by Taz.<BR>We also exchanged new rings, as H never took his off while he was with OW-so I felt his was tarnished, and mine meant nothing anymore because the promises that came with them were broken.<P>We're starting the new millennium fresh.<P>So far I feel that it has helped me to feeel more secure and optimistic about our future. H has been concerned that I might just change my mind and leave afterall, and I think our renewing our vows has helped him to feel more secure too.<P>We're almost 14 months into recovery, and H has worked very hard for us to get to this point today, although it wasn't a picnic for me either.