i can well understand your anger and hurt. when this kind of thing happens the dissapointment and shock is almost worse then the act itself.
and i know, it hurts...the thought-less-ness and dishonesty of it all...that she just couldn't call and tell you the way it was going to be strait out...and that she was alive and OK...BUT...if you want to fight for her you may still be able to save the marriage.
in fact, i would bet anything that the thought of facing you after what she has just done is not somethig that she is looking forward to. and guess what, how you respond to it will go a long way in determining what she will end up doing.
if it were me, i would be totally non-confrontational about the entire matter. don't worry, there will be a time and place to discuss her thoughtless behavior but i wouldn't do it while in the heat of anger and hurt...instead...wait! you can be distant, and communicate your hurt...but not your anger...instead, i would disconnect totally and walk away from the whole thing fora while.
time is your friend. don't say and do in the heat of the moment what you may be sorry for later. at this point, she will use any acrimonious behavior on your part to validate her actions so just back off and don't argue!
and don't let her get you into a discussion...which will certainly turn into an argument! i would tell her that you're to hurt to discuss the matter with her at this time, tell her your glad that she is home and safe and go about your business.
use the time to cool off, formulate your thoughts into what action you want to take. most important decide what you really want...not what you think the situation may dictate. just give it some time.
coach
